This morning at about 9:45, I was in the guest room / computer room / music room / my room, while Gary was sleeping in our bedroom. Suddenly there was a massive thud that shook the house, and Gary cried out.
Gary bellowed in pain and moaned until I came in. He was lying on the floor next to the bed. He was writhing, so I was immediately relieved.
He moaned. Then he gestured toward the bed and shouted accusingly, “IT’S THIS STUPID BED!” Then he moaned some more.
“What happened?” I asked, comfortingly.
He was livid. “I was rolled up in the STUPID comforter, and I was trying to get it out from under me, so I pulled up on it from the middle of the bed and it rolled me out!”
“So you rolled yourself out of bed?”
“THIS DAMN THING!” he roared, and threw the comforter across the room in a rage. He moaned and writhed some more.
I thought about saying, “You poor baby, you fell out of bed,” with a slight emphasis on the “you fell,” but given his mood it seemed better to agree with him that while he slept, our bed had violently thrown him out and the comforter conspired in the plot. It is a matching bedroom accessory to murder.
14 responses to “T-Minus 3”
Thank God you were in a separate room and hence, even to a paranoid brain, totally unimplicated in the offence. Apart from, presumably, having bought the evil bedding in the first place.
By the way, I’m still snorting over the mental picture of Gary flipping himself out of bed.
I have a major migraine and I’m LMFAO. Did you check for any glass embedding itself anywhere?
Perhaps you could have convinced him it was all a lucid dream? “Just climb back in bed and finish the dream, Dear.”
Poor man. A true victim of the bed-comforter conspiracy!
LOL – I can see my husband doing something like that. He’s always blaming the inanimate objects.
HAHAHAHAHA Don’t you just love male logic?!?
I knocked myself out of our (too high) bed last week because of a cat. I blamed the cat for a couple of seconds, since we all know our beloved felines are conspiring to kill us, but then I realized, no, it was my own damn fault.I didn’t think about blaming the comforter.
I think I have used this once already but do you get hazard pay for being married to a man?
What? He didn’t claim that you caused it from the next room with your telekinetic abilities?I am so lucky that Santa is quite low maintenance.
Big Dot – It was unspoken, but since I bought the high bed and the comforter, I am the mastermind.3 – Oddly, he did say “I stepped on a piece of glass.” Probably because that was obviously my fault, he didnt have to blame the glass.~Silk – Genius! Suebob – So tonight I was driving into the garage and saw him mopping up a puddle of cappucino next his car. “STUPID LIGHT CAME ON” he yelled in explanation. Stupid light made him drop the cappucino.magpie – Okay, I’m keeping a list. Evil bed (Night of the Evil Bed!), comforter, garage light.stljoie – Male logic is an oxymoron in Gary’s case.Sherri – It’s ALWAYS the comforter..75 – What’s the hazard? Like, the man might fall on you?Zayrina – God, what I would do with telekinetic abilities.
Queen – I thought the hazard was obvious…dealing with the insanity.
.75 – HE isn’t the one who has been diagnosed with a mental illness. Or do you mean to suggest he caused my insanity? Could be.
Queen – His diagnosis is that he is male. Unfortunately, no cure has been found yet.