(Yes, I know I slacked off this weekend. So, I have to make up for it. Two in a day.)
TeddyJ loves me so much that he is giving me entertaining things to do on the weekend. And he pays for them! (I love TeddyJ. I would so totally do him. If he really existed.)
So, this coming weekend TeddyJ wants me to go bowling. Gary heard about it and became very concerned.
“Since when can you bowl?”
“I can bowl. I just bowled on the Wii.”
“Have you ever bowled in real life?”
“Yes. In grade school. We bowled. Oh, and you and I bowled once in college.”
“I don’t think we did.” (Of course we did. He had his own bowling ball. I have saved that ball every time I purged the basement these past twenty years.)
“Gary, really, we bowled.”
“But, do you still think you can do it? You know, you aren’t in the same shape…”
My face replied, “Yeah, bite my ass big boy.” But I said nothing.
He continued, “I just don’t want you to throw your back out. I think you need to get some practice before this weekend.”
“Great,” I said, since I’ve been intrigued by the Pinup Bowl right by the Pageant.
He answered, “We’ll just get my ball out of the basement” (readers, snicker at will) “and we can practice your form in the backyard.” His face lit up with inspiration as he realized, “We’ll scare the moles and solve our mole problem!”
I have tried to play croquet in my backyard, and I can tell you it is not flat, due to the aforementioned moles. It is no bowling alley. Plus, the high today was Crazy hot. So, I doubt this will happen. Especially since it is my Birthday Month.
32 responses to “Bowling for Moles”
Should Gary even be making that sort of insinuation considering it is your birthday month? Maybe time to remind him of the rules.In other matters, if you happen to notice that my home dot is becoming pert and trim, it’s because I’m away again. I’ll have to pay (gag) actual cash to go online, so I won’t be visiting very often over the next month. If you look closely at your Google analytics, though, you may find a dainty new dot somewhere unusual – the clue is potatoes. Keep well.
Big Dot – but I already have a Dublin dot. Please say it isn’t Dublin. Plus, did you know all of Canada visits some community by Edmonton this time of year? Is it hockey tryouts time of something?
Good guess but no, a long way from Dublin, begorrah.Perhaps it’s some sort of salmon gene, ay.
Oh, and happy birthday for the actual DAY, you know, how we do it in the non-S______ world.
Big Dot – Salmon AND potatoes? I’m stumped. Oh, and I’ll reserve your felicitations for the 10th, the real day.
BD – Wait! Wikipedia says Prince Edward Island. Which according to GA you will have all to yourself since everyone is in Edmonton.
I know a guy who can Wii bowl from his couch and that actually made the Wii sound more appealing for my lazy bum.
No, no, no! What is this Canada thing?? I was just making conversation about that. Canada and me are like (imagine fingers) V. Forget the salmon – potatoes is the clue. But you have to be original about it. (That’s another clue.)
Hey, it’s my birthday month too, as well as Santa’s. Me on the 15th, him the 31st. When you?
If you want to practice bowling, there is no reason why you can’t go to a REAL BOWLING ALLEY. And get a ball with an appropriate weight. Don’t use Gary’s.The backyard? Give me a break.
Yeah, hit those moles over the head.Actually, croquet with obstacles is more fun. Croquet with beer and obstacles is the best.
Bowling is fun, unless you are me. Last time I bowled, I hit myself in the head with my ball.
You and Gary come up with the best comments. Kudos Queen, kudos. Also-thanks for the words o wisdom at my site the other day. For the record, all worked out. For now 🙂
Right, I’m going now. Keep the home fires burning while I’m away. I’m putting Bruce in charge of all antipodean comments. OK, mate?
Polymorphic Girl – From his couch? I think I would fall off mny couch. That would be very disorienting. Big Dot – Ummmm – is there an Idaho, Australia?Zayrina – The 10th for me.0.75 – Gary seems to think bowling alleys are taken over by leagues 24-7 every day but Sunday. Magpie – Yep, maybe thats the trick. I did Tea and obstacles. Sherri – Oh! I could see that happening.Autumn – Good to hear!Big Dot – “Tater: Tater people, a medieval term for the Norwegian and Swedish Travellers, a group of the Romany people OR A last name of people with roots going back to the Indian desert state of Rajasthan.”
Ominous sign – The Man, a pro bowler, has started saying things like “Do you bowl?”, and “I haven’t seen you bowl yet.” I don’t know how long I can hold him off. I haven’t held a ball since 1975. Let me know if you survive.
Cold and getting colder. Coming to you from there now – can you see me? (PS: unexpectedly free internet at this first place. I just love life´s little gifts.)
That was me, of course, Big Dot, but Í´ve forgotten my password. I´ve just realised that ´cold and getting colder´ is itself a clue to where I am right now.
~~Silk – I think having a man you admire teach you to bowl would be like having a family meember teach you how to drive a manual transmission car. Doomed.””/Big Dot – I’m going with Santiago Chile. Chile=Chilly, and it’s winter there now, and perhaps there is some New Zealand dish made with Chile peppers and Potatoes.
Queen – odd. He asked me this past weekend if I could drive a manual. He was surprised when I said I preferred it. I suspect he was hoping he could teach me that, too.BTW, I agree with previous commenter – go to lanes and rent 10 lb. ball. Don’t try Gary’s ball (unless he’s a 10 lb wuss…).
Si, si! But the potato thinking is on the wrong track – I go there tomorrow. Remember, you have to be original. There are too many cool Latino girls here for my self-esteem, but at least I feel tall.
“Si, si” is a clue that Dot is speaking Spanish. Spanish for Potato is Patate. The Tate Museum is in London. Therefore, Dot is in London, where everyone else is a short Latino girl.
That´s such lateral thinking, TasterSpoon, I´m so impressed! But no, alas, I have to spurn your elegant deduction. Si, the Queen was right, it is Santiago in Chile today, which means my main destination from tomorrow onwards should be really easy to guess. Still potato!
~Silk – Do theyn number the balls by weight? I’m already bringing extra socks for people who show in sandals.Big Dot – A carbs theme? Lima peru? A M*A*S*H unit?TasterSpoon – Ah! The Tate was closed when I was there. THAT’S why I didn’t guess it!Big Dot – I’m think now it’s Idaho, and “original” is just a red herring.
Herrings, salmon – there´s nothing fishy about this potato clue.
Either beijing (baking) potato or tierro de fiego, like pomme de terre
Ask at the desk which are the 10 pounders. I think it’s the red ones. (They show the blood from your blistered thumb the least.)
~Silk – My blisterd DEFORMED extra thumb, dont forget.
Hmm. I responded earlier, but it doesn’t seem to have posted. Ask at the desk which are the 10 pound balls. It’s usually the red ones – they don’t show the blood from the blistered thumbs as badly.
Day-am! There the first one is! I swear it wasn’t there a minute ago! Is this why Blogger was down earlier today? Trying to straighten out your comments?Aha! Just figured it out. There are multiple pages of comments! Wow.Potato, Russia? Vodka?
EXTRA thumb??? Have I missed something?
~Silk – Yes, I think the rice discussion also went into multiple pages. I now see this blog as a forum for my very prolific commenters. And, why would a New Zealander go to Chile on the way to Russia?Big Dot – Huh. I can’t believe it, but I have never told the full tale of the thumb in this venue.