One of my favorite parts of the Wake was when people stepped up and told me things about Mom that everyone knows: she was smart, funny, never complained, and a great writer. And then Mom’s friend Martha stepped up with some information that wasn’t widely known, the Story of Mom and Dad. (I knew the Story, of course. No surprises at the Wake, even though I kept thinking someone would step up and say, “Did your Mom ever tell you that you’re adopted?”)
The Story of Mom and Dad
Margie (Mom) dated a guy named Danny in college. Here they are in ’58.
If you look closely at this terrible blurry dark image, you will see my Mom (with a very, very enhanced bosom) standing next to a skinny tall guy.
So, Danny and Mom were dating. Until the fateful night when Danny did not escort her to a college Journalism dance. A gorgeous man at the dance spotted Mom, swept her into a dance, whirled her about, and kissed her when the music ended. Danny Who?
The next day when Danny came to pick her up for a date, she said, “Oh, I was just going to go out and buy a hat for MY NEW BOYFRIEND. You can come along if you want.”
In six months Mom married the gorgeous man and moved to Houston. In ten years she was separated from the gorgeous man and came back to Saint Louis, while my seven-year old brother and my five-year old self stayed in Houston with Jerry. One of her friends (I believe it was “Aunt” Carleen) said, “You know, whatever happened to that Danny boy you were dating in college?” A few phone calls later, and Mom was on the phone with Danny.
“Hello, Danny?”
“Yes?”
“This is Margie Foster.” (pause) “What’cha been doing?”
“Well, I’ve been sitting here … by the phone … waiting for a phone call from a girl named Margie Foster.”
They decided to go see a movie, with Aunt Carleen as a chaperone, because Mom was still married. They dropped off Carleen at her apartment and fell into each other’s arms.
Then six months later … they were married.
Look at that smile!
(And look at that little girl! Look at that tan! I think this is the only photo of me with a tan.)
All this explains why Danny is my Dad and Jerry is my Technical Father, because “Hideous Mistake That Resulted in Two Children” is just cumbersome. No. Really, no one ever acted like that.
I do remember having a spat with Dad about something Mom said, and snapping out the classic kid/stepdad remark, “Well I’ve known her LONGER.” He laughed and reminded me that no, actually, I was about ten years behind him.
Once someone heard that Mom married Dad only six months after she separated from Jerry, and said, “So, you married your transitional man?”
“No,” Mom said, “Jerry was the transitional man.”
So here they are again, at my wedding. Look at that smile!
8 responses to “The Wake: Part the Second”
Awwwwwwwwww! Thanks for sharing that neat story. Just out of acute nosiness, which you can tell me to stuff if you want, when did The Mum start having trouble with her arms? She looks very healthy and fully functional, as well as lovely, in the pics.
Zayrina – Lovely and cunning. Her arm issues were: atrophied right arm, fine right hand, fine left arm, atrophied left hand. Note you only see her right hand in every photo, attached to her non-functioning arm. Her functioning arm is wrapped around Dad, and so you cant see her bad hand. All puffy sleeves, too. And the shoulderpads doubled up on one side helps straighten her out. Plus, the high collars hide the trach scar.She was pretty annoyed in high school once when I bought myself a shirt with puffy sleeves and a high collar. She countered by buying me a low-necked armless sweater.
Great story! Would love to hear more. When’s your book coming out? 🙂
Coming back to me in a whooosh is the memory or my friend from 30 years ago in college.Karen with the unspellable last name. She had a polio affected left arm. We became buds while taking a geography class. Rocks not maps.Her left arm and hand were dead as a wet noodle. She was completely unfazed by it. She forced it to be useful, a paperweight in class. I was briefly fazed by it then was quickly over it, by the sheer force of her personality. She played tennis, got married, had a baby, anything she wanted. Her husband was a dot Indian, a biomedical engineer, who really pitched in to help with the house and baby.Seeing the Mum’s story, and thinking of Karen, I wonder if polio imparts special personality powers on those who have it?
Zayrina, from the stories I’ve heard about Warm Springs and any other polio rehab, the therapists there had a ‘take no prisoners’ approach. You either did it or went home to curl up and be locked in a back room for the rest of your life.Of course, a lot of those folks who gutted it out are paying the price now with Post Polio Syndrome.Pretty much sucks whichever way you look at it.
0.5 – Even better, how about Mom’s writings instead? Here’s Mom’s version of the story:http://royaldynasty.blogspot.com/2006/09/when-i-was-in-journalism-school-i.html Zayrina – I think it’s just that people with problems grow up strong. When Mom pointed out that my fiancee had epilepsy, and dint that bother me, I thought, what, you want me to marry one of those spoiled whiners who are in perfect health?Becs – Joni Mitchell, Alan Alda, Mia Farrow … who knows who it might affect them. Of course, no one knows what the future holds.
I have an old book of cat stories that used to belong to my mom when she was in her 20’s. She made notes about each of the stories in the table of contents, and around the borders. It’s one of my favorite things.
Melissa – I just found the Dickens and the Trollope have some annotations too.