I’m sorry to Sherry and Mom’s other friends and relatives who read this on a blog instead of through a phone call tomorrow: Mom slipped into a coma this morning at 5:30, and then died this evening at 7:18.
Her friends Pat and Sue visited her this morning, then of course the hospice nurse had to come and re-evaluate her. We excluded both private nurses while Dave and I waited with her. About 6:30 pm Mom began a downturn. Gary came in around 7:15 and talked with the nurse. Dave and I said goodbye to Mom, then I called Gary in. “Bye bye Margie,” he said, then she made a new strange noise and we watched her pulse stop.
I want to add, I’ve looked at your comments and emails the last few days. I’ve also heard of your Porch Presents, Caroline (#4), Marcia (#2), and Libby (#2). They have all meant a lot to me.
Of course, I need to consider a few things after I sleep a while: The Anti-Hospice Viewpoint, and Hospice by the Numbers, and Oxygen Deprivation, and my latent drug addiction. But that’s later, now sleep.
63 responses to “This is the bad post”
I’m so sorry, Queen. She was a courageous lady. Be glad she doesn’t need to struggle any more, and that you and she had an enviably good relationship. She’ll always be with you.
I’m really sorry to read this. Your mom was a unique, funny, and great woman.
I’m so sorry. You and your mom were both lucky to have each other.
So strong you are. So many times you gave me wisdom in my difficult situations (you knew that, didn’t you?). I wish I had something brilliant to say to you now… or at least to make you smile. I am so sorry for your loss. I have to say thank you for sharing parts of your mom’s life with me- through your stories in person and also through your blog. Your relationship was so unique and wonderful. To get through this time with such grace and strength and even retaining your humor- that’s amazing.You’re still my hero.
My deepest condolences. I shall miss the Queen Mum and her sense of humor.
I am remarkably sorry for what has happened. I have been so incredibly impressed with the way you’ve handled it and with your strength and I hope that helps carry you through the coming weeks and months.Your mother was an amazing woman and I know that her life and her wit touched a lot of people and probably had a big part in making you, you. Take some time for you, we’ll still be here when you’re ready to be back.
Friend #3 was responsible for porch presents as well.I’m sorry.
I knew there was a reason I was crying for your mom last night.She was a lovely woman, and I’m so very lucky to have personally met her. You have a lot to do today, but when you have a free moment and you need anything – ANYTHING – call me. My cell is charged and will be attached to my hip all day.Much love to you.
My condolences…
I haven’t commented before, but at this sad time I hope to you know how many people all over the world (myself included) have been thinking of your mum and you at this time and hoping for safe passage. With very best wishes for you and your family, X
I’m so sorry. This is the post I’ve been dreading. Thank you for sharing this experience with us; I can’t imagine that things have been easy lately, but it sounds as if you have a wonderful local support system. and, people all over the country sending long-distance support as well.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your mother.
So sorry to hear about your Mom…
Oh, honey.No words. Just hugs and hand squeezes.Okay, a few words: You did great. You did everything exactly right. Anyone would be grateful to have a daughter like you by her side.I wish you good rest and an easy passage through the next parts of this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad that your mom was able to say her goodbyes, and that you were as well. Get some sleep, and remember that grieving is normal, though there is no ‘normal’ grieving.
Deeply sorry for your loss.
I’m so very sorry, E. My condolences to you and yours.
I’m so sorry. Make sure you eat, and get some sleep, and do whatever it is you need to do to take good care of yourself.
Oh I am sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers for you all. Thanks for letting us complete strangers know too.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your Queen Mum with us. I wish you peace and rest.
My most heartfelt condolences go your way. May she rest in peace.
I’m sorry, and sending you love and good wishes…
I would give you a hug if I was there. I’m so sorry to hear about the Queen Mum. Will be thinking about you.
I have not commented before, but I read your blog every day and have been keeping your mom in my prayers. I am so sorry to hear of her passing.
Ellen, you’re in my prayers. I’m sorry to read about the passing of your Mum.
We’ve not met, but Caroline and Libby are friends that introduced me to your lovely blog. Many prayers and thoughts to you – I am so very sorry.
I’m sorry. I hope you got a lot said these last days, enough to last for a good while. Watch out for your eyes and remember, the funny will come back.
I am so sorry. There just are no words. I wish you had more time together. Though anyone can see that you and your mom absolutely got the most possible enjoyment and love and laughs out of each other in the time you had.
There’s a new star in the heavens, shining brightly. I never met her, but I’ll miss her, too.
I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope you can take comfort in knowing you eased her passing the best you could.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
Now is the time to begin your own journey. To lose a mother you love is to feel like an orphan, no matter what age you are. It’s scary to think that there is now a world where your mom no longer exists. But there are people in that world who are here to comfort you, and do for you (and you need to let them). Your world will forever be different now, but the love is not gone. I have no doubt that you make your mom extremely proud just being the person you are and that by continuing to do that, you will honor her every day.
I join with your other readers – we are all thinking about you (and, I suspect, wishing that we could DO something). You’ve been amazing through this. Take your time. I’m sorry to hear about your loss.
We’re with you, Ellen. Feel the love.
I’m so sorry.
We’re all with you,Ellen, feel the love?
I’m so, so sorry. You are in my thoughts. Ugh. So sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I’m sorry. Please accept my sympathy. Take care of yourself. I’m thinking of you and sending good, positive vibes your way.
Aw, I had a feeling before I even clicked in today. :(I have really appreciated your writing during this time. I look forward to more of your thoughts….but yes, for now, get some well-deserved sleep.Peace to you and your family.
I am so sorry. Please know that all of your readers are thinking of you and holding you in their hearts and thoughts.
Now she can rest in peace. I wish you peace also.
I’m so so incredibly sorry.
i’ve read your blog for a long time now, but never commented. however, i just wanted to say i’m so sorry for your loss. i know it might not mean as much coming from a random voice on the internet, but i’ll be thinking of you and your family.
Sorry for you loss.
I’m so very sorry for your loss, and so very glad that your friends are taking such good care of you. Take care.
Oh I’m so sorry. She’s in a better place now though, and out of pain. I know that when my dad passed from cancer several years ago, he was so changed at the end that when he slipped into a coma and eventually passed in his sleep that we were all patently relieved for him. For what it’s worth, as a complete stranger, I think you handled it all perfectly. Now worry about taking care of your self – get some rest, think about taking a vacation somewhere sunny, and just grieve for a little while. Many good thoughts to you and your family.
You and your family are in my thoughts. Much love and good vibes from Georgia.
I am a lurker and fan of your blog, thanks to redjammies. I want to extend my deepest sympathy for your loss.
My condolences on the loss of your mom. Bless her, and bless you.