Mom update: She is not in as much pain (if at all). This is a huge relief, especially after six days. She is still conscious and able to talk. There have been lots of “I love you” and “You’re a good kid.” And some “stop patting my hand,” but that’s Mom.
The morning started with a nice visit from three of Mom’s friends: Donna F______, Carolyn H______, and Penny P_______. She was fairly sleepy, but she recognized all of them and smiled.
Then she went to sleep. While she was sleeping, the hospice bath team descended on her, “woke her up,” and gave her a bath. I helped them, we rolled Mom back and forth and bathed her and shampooed her and dried her. Quickly. Too quickly, and with too much efficient chatter, probably. At the end of it, she whispered to me, “Don’t trust them. Crazy voodoo people. Call the police. They are crazy. Get Archie, he has a gun.”
Not funny. She was terrified and shaking, and as she listed all the neighbors who must be warned, Nurse Jane called.
Nurse Jane, nee “That Bitch Nurse at the lung doctor’s office,” is the nurse at Dr. S________’s office. Dr. S________, Mom’s lung specialist, is the one Mom has had the longest relationship with and the the she chose to follow her case till the end. Mom likes Dr. S_________. However, she named the Bitch Nurse.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “Mom can’t talk now.”
“She’s always been able to talk to me before,” Jane snipped. “If she can’t walk to the phone, you can bring the phone to her. Don’t you have a mobile phone?”
Fine, I said, call me back on my cell. And she did, and I held the phone up to Mom’s ear. Mom replied to Jane’s perky, “How have you been feeling?” with, “They are going to kill us. Warn the neighbors! Crazy voodoo people. Archie has a gun.”
I put the phone back to my ear. Jane said, “Your mother seems changed.”
“I know.”
“But just a month ago she was walking!”
“I am fully aware how suddenly Mom has declined.” I didn’t go easy on the Tone. “I’ll call you back later.”
Later, I called Jane.
“Jane, Dr. S________ has been following her case. Didn’t they tell you?”
“We noticed you wanted to increase her pain medication.”
“Yes. She’s been in pain. Crying, cursing, we want it to stop. They say there are good days and bad days, and it’s just been one bad day after another.”
“Well if you cut back on her pain medication,” Jane said crisply, “she’d probably have more good days. The pain medicine you’re giving her is reducing her lung capacity.”
“I see. You want LESS pain medication. Less. Let me run that past the hospice nurse.” Bite my ass Jane. I hung up and dialed the hospice nurse in one fluid motion to run this whole “Go with the pain” hospice theory past her.
“I’ll take care of it,” she said, and explained when she called back that Dr. S_________ and Jane were not aware Mom was in hospice, didn’t know much about the case, only that we were electing to ease her pain over saving her lungs. Then, she said, “they” said some “anti-hospice” things. Like, I suppose, “I’ve tried for twenty years to save this woman’s lungs and now you say I should give up hope. She was just walking, just the other day!”
So, since Dr. S________ needs time to get over his denial, Dave and I and my medical Power of Attorney have switched the doctor on the case to our original GP, the doctor who suggested hospice as an option, the doctor who called Monday to see how we were all doing, our Mormon doctor, instead of this one who worships the Golden Lung.
And now since noon, Mom’s on a new medicine and has been free of pain, finally. Other medicines and a more frequent dose schedule has her calmer, if sleepier. So, crappy day, but a good result.
Oh, and then Gary said the Lent Bunnies has left some Lindt truffles on our porch while he was out walking the dog.
22 responses to “Epic”
I’m so glad to hear the pain has abated.Please give me Nurse Jane’s address so I can come out there and get medieval on that bitch’s ass.
Perhaps we — your supporters from all 50 states — should come out there and show Nurse Jane what crazy voodoo people really look like.Bless your dear heart, and the hospice nurse, and your Mom for wanting to take care of the neighbors.
I love your mom. If the crazy voodoo people continue, tell her you’ll call in the Cows.
Yeah, mon.
Good for you for standing up for your mom. Peace to you all!
Hang in there – there’s folks thinking about you. If I knew where your back porch was, you’d find more wine… I found a Nintendo DS on mine one day – and discovered that games designed for 8-10 year olds are excellent in those sleep hours or the times that you want to leap out of your skin to get somebody to bring/do something…. You are amazing –
It’s amazing how doctors who are supposed to care for you actually have no palliative care skills whatsoever. God love hospice, seriously. If I lived four hours closer I would leave you wine and chocolates, too.
More suffocating hugs because I live nowhere near your porch and thus cannot bake for you, Gary, or any raccoons who might get there ahead of you.Honestly, it is very difficult for me not to wish terrible, terrible illness upon Nurse Bitch and Dr. Clueless, and soon. Really difficult. But then I remember all the crappy, insensitive things I’ve done/said in my life that I don’t want coming back to haunt me and bite my mental tongue. Still, the urge lingers like that last lick of chocolate in your mouth after the truffle has melted down your throat.Hang in there, honey. You are all in my thoughts.
Oh Dear. You have really got my ire up and running. Would you please email me the name and address of this nurse, pretty please? I live not more than 2.5 hours drive from there, I will just hop onto 70 and be there in a jiffy because this woman needs to have all 5’10” 300lbs of red-faced angry me there to explain things to her. I promise, no broken bones. I *&^%ing hate nurses like her and she needs to be contained.*sizzlecrackle*Thank God the hopice nurses are sane.
*slaps Nurse Ratched and Dr. Dumbass*
Like I said when I first figured out what was going on with you, over there, so far from Tucson, “Hospice rocks and I have little or no respect for any other “branch” of medicine”. RE:your post yesterday, my mom, had long chats with a brother that died, saving his friends, in WWII. “Joe; he was the best of the lot, you know”. She had 11 borhters and one sister and almost all of them had died by then, but Joe was the one she was going to visit, if possible!
Shit, Ellen….I have been so absent that I’ve missed this entire trauma you have been dealing with. I’m so so so so sorry to read about your mom. I hope that you are getting all the support you need from Gary and Dave and your multitude of awesome friends and your bosses at work. I wish I could figure out a way to send cupcakes over the mail now more than ever.My thoughts are with you and I am praying for your mother.
I’ll drive the getaway car for Zayrina.Indeed, thank goodness the hospice nurses are sane and that your family doctors cares enough to keep up with what’s going on.
Hospice people actually care about the patient. Sometimes, I think doctors just care about winning and forget what they’re supposed to be fighting for. Glad to hear it’s a little easier going at the moment.
I think everyone has said it but I’ll second (third, fourth, fiftieth) it…we’ll beat those b*tches down! And way to go for hospice nurse and original GP being awesome. I’m sorry this is happening.
I’ve never been one to confront a person when I’m angry. I usually let it fester inside me until it can no longer be contained, but I swear to god that I’d bitch-slap that nurse and doctor if I were there. I would. I’m that angry with them! Thank goodness for hospice nurses and your friends who understand that wine and food left on the porch mean love.
I’m with KC on the festering. Nurse Jane sounds like the SuperNanny. I’m going to give her credit for following up, though.Glad your mom feels better, for whatever that’s worth.
Way too much ego going on with Dr S and his Bitch Nurse. Some doctors just want to be right. Good for you, for going with the Tone. Always useful in such situations.
If you have to deal with Nurse Dumb Bitch again, won’t you offer her a nice, hot cup of shut the fuck up from all of us?Hang in there! Sending love-y, boozy vibes from Indy!
I heard the authorities referencing Dr. Dumbass as Mom’s doctor tonight. I bellowed “NO HE ISN’T” and tattled on him. The authorities were shocked. It was reassuring.
Crimney Jistmas. I am so sorry that you are going through this but so glad your mom has someone to stand up for her. I hope there is someone there for me if the need ever arises. The Mormon’s drive me crazy sometimes since I live in Utah and my in-laws and neighbors and people at the grocery store are Mormon but I have never appreciated their loving quality more than when they stand up for what’s right.
Everyone – Thank you all.