Well, Monday morning is the next time I meet with the clinical trial people. I’ve written out all my “side effects” from the “placebo,” and with the exception of the one I have hinted at in the vaguest terms here, I don’t have much to offer. I’m sure I can contribute weight gain to the list, but every day when I write out any adverse events I want so much to throw in:
Sudden Blindness
Spontaneous Understanding of Portuguese
Hallucination (Giant Sheep)
Husband Reports I Smell after Dinner
Gambling Addiction (this is a real side-effect of an RLS drug)
Any others?
8 responses to “Side Effects”
Obsession with macrame/doilies/scary dolls designed by Marie Osmond
I think you should add hulk-like strength to the list. and then if they ask you to demonstrate tell them that THEY DON’T WANT TO MAKE YOU ANGRYYYYYYY.Oh, and I slept on my left side when I took a nap yesterday and woke up with a nap. I almost drove up to Missouri to slap the crap out of you, but then I realized that I have no earthly idea where Missouri is.
um, so I woke up from the nap with a headache. Not with a nap. Maybe someone should slap the crap out of me?
You are so subtle a hinter that I have no idea what side effects you hinted at. If it involves your friend Colin, I probably don’t want to know.Oh – I sleep on my left side all the time.
If you’re going to go the hallucinatory route, may I suggest olfactory? You could say you are constantly aware of a subtle asparagus aroma, e.g.Wait, you aren’t, are you?
Caroline – But I already have one doilie, so they could say it was a pre-existing condition.Katie – Oh, that is sad: you don’t know where MO is? Did they shrink the geography lobe of your brain, is that whats under your scar?Becs – But think of the ill halth you would suffer if you did not.sgazzetti – Indeed I am. Still, I can never smell half the stuff Gary hallucinates. (Tonight it was vomit.)
I have taken that RLS drug, and I can report no gambling addiction problems. Just because I am down five grand does not mean I have a PROBLEM.Just kidding. I stopped taking it, although I need it desperately, because my husband calls me The Eggbeater because of the kicking. But lemme tell you, the headache hangover from that stuff was FIERCE.
Jenny – Hmm. Mom takes it, but does not complain of headaches. I like “Eggbeater” – Mom calls it “The Boogaloo.”