Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: October 2007

  • Googleoem

    From Sans God, who defines Google-oetry as “a poem, written with only the keywords people have used to find [your] site” and the adds wryly, “I thought I’d get mine in early, before this becomes a meme.” I say it’s a meme riiiiighhtt …about… now! And so, I give to you, unedited: Unauthorized Celebrity Nudification…

  • NaBloPoYEAR, people!

    Yes, November is National Blog Posting Month. I see your month and I raise you a year! ’07 is National Blog Posting Year, that’s what I say. As long as you don’t mind reading about crap like I got my hair cut! and what I ate for lunch (though no one cares, at least, Maggie…

  • Spontaneous Combustion

    A few weeks ago, I was awakened from a dead sleep at 3 am by a sudden, constant noise. I got out of bed and followed the noise into the hallway, where I found it was coming from the bathroom. It was the blow dryer. The blow dryer had suddenly switched on as I slept.…

  • Dear People of Denver

    Dear People of Denver

    I know. It sucks to lose the World Series.It sucks to lose the World Series in a sweep.It sucks to lose to the Boston Red Sox. But at least you lost to a team that had won in the past five years.

  • Soup Weather

    Soup Weather

    I was outside, doing what ended up as only a tiny percentage of my fall yard cleanup, when I thought, “I need soup.” Since we had not recently had dinner out involving soup, there was no soup in the refrigerator: I went mad, went to the grocery, and started a crazed soupfest. Soupfest in Progress:…

  • A Cheer

    Gimme a W! Gary is home sick with the flu. He sent me an e-mail at work today that said, without any irony, that he was optimistic about this clinical trial. He also said something else involving the word “proud” that I can’t bring myself to transcribe. Forgive me. Gimme a T! I purchased a…

  • We’re at the Part When The Roman Guards ask the Slaves to Identify Spartacus

    So I was a little disgusted to hear I have been too well to be in the clinical trial for FTY720. In fact, I had a neuro appointment last week and I strongly considered faking a limp, just to spite them. I thought this in particular last week when I had this IM conversation with…

  • Paranoia? You Decide. (A Continuing Series)

    Paranoia? You Decide. (A Continuing Series)

    So, sometimes I get these Google searches that seem to be aimed directly at me. I don’t mean those searching for “Mediocretia.” And I don’t mean those searching for “women who spread their toes,” even though, wow, dudes, who knew? Next time I’m in sandals I’ll be spreading them for your amusement. I mean these…

  • The Prophecies of Doom

    Assorted quatrains from the prophet Garydamus: And lo, the wife shall buildA great and mighty shelving unitAnd it shall not standOr stand it shall until the heavy bottles be placed upon itAnd she shall not be placated after the collapse. ************************** Beware of the water sprinklerSuch as it is, buried into the earthIf the wife…

  • When I Am Old, I Shall Wear Purple and Have Seen A Lot of Movies

    Here’s the movie meme, but with a twist. Here is the list of AFIs top 100 movies, but instead of bolding the ones I’ve seen, I’m just going to list the ones I HAVEN’T seen. Stolen heartlessly from … everyone. 4. Raging Bull (1980) – Still haven’t seen it. I know. I know I said…