Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: October 2007

  • Return to Room 19

    Dear Doris Lessing, First, woohoo! Congratulations on the Nobel prize! You may not know this, but you wrote my favorite short story, To Room 19. For years, when asked what my favorite story is I’ve given To Room 19 as the answer. This morning it struck me: I can not recall what To Room 19…

  • Measure Twice, Cut Once

    I am in the process of organizing my laundry room. To this end I went online and bought a freestanding wire shelving unit. It is designed to fit over the washer and dryer. (Gary saw it and said “OR we could put it in the garage!” because he wants to see me take the scissors…

  • How About “I HATE YOU ALL” Week?

    Some of my Friends have names for the week they have their periods. One has Orange Week, for example. That may be supplanted by a new term: “Bowling”. Bowling requires some explanation. We watched the Educational Archives Lunch Box Set at a girl’s night out. You should check it out, because it’s a compilation of…

  • Gary and His Decision-Making Process

    Here is Gary pondering breakfast out:“What should I get…hmm…eggs? No, I feel like waffles. No! Oatmeal! Oatmeal sounds great.”Then the waitress arrives.“The Light Egg white omelet with sausage and a side of bacon. And a bowl of cheese. And a side of salt pork.” It’s divergent decision-making in action. I mention this because Gary is…

  • Mmmm Lung

    Gary arrived home after visiting the Petco pet store. I could tell he was home by the distinctive way he screamed, “Honey! I’m home!” Actually, he screamed, “COME SEE THIS THIS IS AMAZING YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS THING I FOUND AT THE PET STORE!” I went to the kitchen and found out that the…

  • Travel Plans

    Projects have been shuffled at work, and it turns out that I get to go to Atlanta in a month or so. First thought: Anderson Cooooooooooooooooper!Second thought: Hey, I could eat at that place Gary told me about. They have fondue and alligators. They don’t serve alligator, they have live ones in the decor.Third thought:…

  • Gang of Thieves

    This is a true story. The numbers have been changed to protect the innocent. You wouldn’t think that lunch with friends #2.1, 3.3333, 4.5, and 7.007 would cause much drama, given that our average age is 42. We went to the quiet Italian place by work to eat, vent, celebrate projects that are finished, flirt…

  • Rocking in the Boy’s Room

    Gary’s Check Engine light is toying with his emotions, so I picked him up today. First, though, I knew I would have to visit the bathroom, so he came down to let me in the lobby before we left. He said “I’ll wait right out here, in the hall.” While I sat in the bathroom…

  • The Greatest News Story Ever Told

    Excerpted from the best news story EVER: Lawmaker Shows Nude Photo to Students NORWALK, Ohio — A state legislator surprised a high school class when the computer he was using projected a photo of a nude woman during a lecture on how a bill becomes a law. [Hah! This has to be fake, right? Hey!…

  • Break Your Tooth

    (This is the post you were supposed to get yesterday, but then the dog started defecating representations of the male reproductive organs. Today he’s back to representations of the lymphatic system, so I can post what I want.) Yesterday, I went to the dentist for a crown. As usual, I begged for drugs. Novocaine, nitrous,…