Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: October 2007

  • Dog Scandal

    I met the newest addition to the in-law family this evening. She’s a little dachshund named Tinkerbell. Given that my in-laws are 82 and 78, I made a special effort to bond with what will be my dog someday. Tink, like all S_______ dogs, is a refugee from a dog shelter. Good for them, I…

  • This Makes it All Worthwhile

    Words of Wisdom That Pay Off: If you keep the leftover paint from every room you paint, in nineteen years you will need to repaint the laundry room and you wont have to do any cutting in. I just rolled that old paint on top of the paint job from nineteen years ago. Aside from…

  • The Police police po po po lice po! lice! STFU.

    For a boring series of reasons, the only CD in our car at the moment is the second disc of The Police Live! I don’t know what Oliver Sacks would say about it, but I hate this CD. It would appear that they made a 2 CD set by singing every song in front of…

  • Mine, All Mine

    Mine, All Mine

    Often, I will be eating chips with my friend Caroline (she’s #4) when she will silently hand me a chip. It puzzles me a moment, until I inspect the chip and see it is curly. Caroline knows that I am the owner of all curly chips. I think this might date from high school, when…

  • This is Distressing

    Finally, finally my beloved Scooba is resurrected. It is Risen! And the angels sing. (An aside: Scooba The First died when I was still waxing the nethers, so it was a while ago. Scooba the Second died the same way. (Wait – that suggested I was Scooba-ing the nethers. Its just last year was divided…

  • The Great Car Hunt

    So, the car quest continues. This weekend we test drove a Toyota Yaris and a Toyota Prius. The Prius was like a spaceship, and it was eco-friendly and it was disturbingly roomy for Mini owners. So, here’s the breakdown: Prius Yaris Seats 5 10K less than the Prius49mpg 10K less than the Priusecological 10K less…

  • UPDATED: Well, the Riverfront Times Can Just Suckmahballz Now.

    UPDATED: Well, the Riverfront Times Can Just Suckmahballz Now.

    It’s a little alarming when you are scanning your inbound links in Typepad and see “www.CBSnews.com/stories”. After you finish the article you are relieved you didn’t see a quote like “Oliver Sacks has been criticized by many, including this cow here with her B.A. in English.” Did you just lose ALL respect for CBS news…

  • Grilled Chocolate Sandwich, as Promised

    Grilled Chocolate Sandwich, as Promised

    Today is the last day of the phantom period, in which I have all the signs of my monthly time except the issue of tissue. Because I keep my promises, here is the recipe for the Grilled Chocolate Sandwich. One: Menstruate. Two: Melt butter, split croissants and fry. Three: Flip croissants and add chocolate, in…

  • Music Update

    Okay, so it would seem that Oliver Sacks agrees with me that an obsession with music is related to neurological problems; he has a new book: Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain. I would feel vindicated except I really can’t stand Oliver Sacks. He reminds me of Jim Garrison making a case for a…

  • In Which I Make a New Sound

    In Which I Make a New Sound

    I made a new sound tonight, one I’ve never made before. It kind of scared me. I don’t blame the drink, I blame the company. First of all, when the bartender began mixing the Purple Haze that Friend #3 suggested I try, he brought out the Chambord. “Yay!” I crowed, “it’s the Holy Hand Grenade!…