Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: February 2007

  • An Haiku

    I don’t usually write Haikus, but what do you do when someone dies wearing a five-syllable name? Gary just watched the entire hour of MSNBC coverage. What of Sugar Pie?And Purple-haired Lesbian?Gary wants to know.

  • You Go, Girl

    Everyone is in such a giggly schoolgirl state about the astronaut who traveled 900 miles in a diaper so she wouldn’t have to stop. I think this is genius. This is practical. She had a deadline, you know, she had to meet the Other Woman at the airport parking garage. And, frankly, I don’t know…

  • I Think Too Much

    On the way out this morning, I heard the CNN anchor try to tease me past a commercial with “What would you think of a someone disciplining a child … with a stun gun? What if it was his own child? An eighteen month old child?” They way the anchor kept cranking up the drama…

  • All About MEEEEE

    All About MEEEEE

    I see one of my favorite blogs has decided to give me my due attention.

  • Nature to Advantage Dressed

    I just finished watching the first 3/4ths of 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice. Quite presentable. It gives me hope someone, someday, can make a two-hour version of Jane Eyre that presents the book as a three-part epic of morality instead of a love story. One odd thing struck me. For at least an hour…

  • A Good Joke

    I was walking past a radio today and caught one of the jokes from A Prarie Home Companiom: “How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?”(in a voice of panic:) “Change? CHANGE?’

  • Thoughts From the Bathroom at 11-11 Mississippi

    Also titled: In Which we Move Our Bowels for an Inordinate Length of Time – Owwww.– What did I eat?– Was it the Key Lime Martini followed by the glass of wine? What was that white wine? It didn’t taste like stomach acid.– This bathroom floor is dirty.– Was it the butternut squash soup followed…

  • Broken Social Scene

    Do most men have friends? My Dad had friends. When I was 11 or so he lost his job and I noticed a lot of his friends were no longer calling him to go play golf or just to chat. When I asked why, my Dad the purchasing agent explained, “No, they weren’t friends, they…

  • In Which We Search for a Good Book

    I’ve just finished I Feel Bad About My Neck. There is a fine chapter on our necks, and a particularly fine chapter on reading. She describes the satiety of finishing a good book, and the sense of elation and wonder that makes you put a book down to absorb a a great passage. I remembered…

  • Life Imitates … TV

    I just struggled through a particularly annoying episode of House. Usually, I love this show. A show about a doctor who actually does his job and doesn’t try to steal the jobs of my family members? You know, “caring?” That family responsibility? It’s like a Doctor Porno to me. A doctor who doesn’t pretend to…