Five Reasons I Hate Halloween
1. You buy $60.00 worth of candy and then three kids show up.
2. Parents look at the sexual predator page and find that one lives across the street from you, so they avoid your entire street, espcially parents with the cute little ones.
3. All the cute little ones instead go to a big party thrown by the church down the street, and since you don’t have kids you can’t go without looking like a sexual predator yourself.
4. The whole children/greed combo in general.
5. In the work celebration photos everyone else looks great and you look like Quasimodo drunk on chocolate:
From left: Chuck (slash), Caroline (Harvard comma – if you click it you can see she’s wearing a cap and gown), Marcia (effusive prose), Robin (exclamation point), Me (as a colon – but of course), Stacy (Backslash), Janet (who didn’t get the memo, but we decided she’s the Queen’s English), Brenda (modelling some of her favorite spelling and grammatical errors), and in the foreground, Libby (semicolon).
7 responses to “Why I Hate Halloween”
You are obviously having entirely too much fun at work. I am jealous. Should I send Yentl to you so you can understand the joy you presently have?
I don’t get it.
Becs – No! No Yentl!Melati – Yeah, I was wearing my Technical Writer hat when this scheme was cooked up. If I remember, it was back when we were having wars with another technical writer who sniped about “the arbitrary comma rules” we were using, and then I think one person screamed “The Chicago Manual of STYLE is ARBITRARY?” and we all bonded in our love of specific punctuation marks. Or, in my case, punctuation and body parts. Brenda and Marcia went instead with their least favorite proofreading issues.
Huh. I still don’t get it.
The Harvard comma is never incorrect and often clarifies.
It is clear, valid and useful.
I would have like to have represented the semicolon in honor of my -ahem- irregularity.