Gary’s sister Karen’s birthday is this weekend, and we shopped tonight, one of the seven S______ birthday shopping sprees per year. The frustrating thing is that this conversation happens every time.
Me: “Oh, cute top.”
Gary: “NO! You are supposed to be thinking about [Karen/Mom/Dad/Mr. Wonderful/Sandy/the kids] tonight. We are not shopping for you.”
This is frustrating because we never shop for me. And of course if I do make a special trip to shop for me, the shopping muse deserts me and nothing looks good.
And finally, after 21 plus years, it finally dawned on me how I can sneak in some shopping. I suggested to Gary that Karen and I are about the same size and shape, and would he like me to try on some of the clothes we picked out for Karen? You know, so he could see how they looked? Sure! Great idea.
And of course he picked out things for Karen, I picked out what I wanted, tried everything on, and then convinced Gary that this was a little flashy / low cut / young for Karen, but did it look good on me? That way, I got Gary’s valuable opinion, plus I got to shop, plus Karen got a lot of stuff that looked painfully conservative on me. I’d feel guilty but Mr. Wonderful shops with Karen every other weekend, entirely without coercion.
3 responses to “A Cunning Plan to Scam My Husband Goes Off As Planned”
Well played, my friend.I noticed a lot of Fall Sale signs in the mall near my office this week. Might have to do a little shopping soon, myself. For others, of course.
What is this thing you call shopping?
It is closely related to this little thing I call “credit.” It’s something I haven’t done for about three years, and nothing has been on the credit card for three years either. Then I accidentally saw the husband’s credit card and thought, “Why not?”