Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: September 2006

  • A Quandry

    A Quandry

    When we bought my wedding ring set, the so-called salesman said, “her fingers are so small that anything over a 15 point diamond will look vulgar.” I did not want to appear vulgar, so we went with the 1/7th of a carat diamond. It is not so small that I didn’t notice when it went…

  • Let’s Hear It For the Boy King

    Let’s Hear It For the Boy King

    In 1977, when I was in Jr. High, King Tut toured the states and visited Chicago. All of us in the Florissant Junior High Gifted and Talented program got to go on a field trip to Chicago and see the exhibit. The Florissant Gifted and Talented students shared a bus to Chicago with the students…

  • Tall, Grande, InterVente

    Tall, Grande, InterVente

    So, tonight I placed my order at the drive through, which answered: “Okay, we’ll make your decaf-tall-four-equal-two percent-cappucino, but we’re cutting Gary off.” Evidently Gary had been through just an hour before. The Baristas of Sarcasm made his raspberry mocha but left the above editorial on his cup.

  • Nearing the End of The Chemistry Project

    Nearing the End of The Chemistry Project

    This is what happen when mini M&Ms react with the deadline for the Chemistry Project and are catalyzed by Catherine’s post for today:

  • Meme Du Month

    I am so behind on memes! You have all been doing this for years. Here is an old meme: TEN Random Things You May Not Know About Me:I was born with an extra thumb that was cruelly taken from me at 2 months. I’m allergic to egg whites, penicillin, and sulfa. My first act as…

  • This is a Discovery series waiting to happen

    Sciencewoman here with a Science Update: Eucerin Anti-Reddening Cream? A total SHAM. The right side of my face looks just like the control (also know as ‘the left side of my face.’) A follow-up experiment featuring Alpha-Hydroxy made the right side of my face break out, so it was suspended. To give them credit, acne…

  • What Their Body Language Says About Them!

    What Their Body Language Says About Them!

    Like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, this couple’s body language says a lot about their relationship, as shown in this file photo from spring 2006. She: You are my possession. He: I like Dr. Pepper. I like my mom. Hi Mom.She: Look at me! LOOK AT ME! I want you!He: She is so my bitch.…

  • Skeleton in the Closet Redux

    So, back to Gary’s closet Mormon relatives. Ended up he has another Aunt (Audrey) and it was her husband (a Mormon, a Mason, and a PhD) who died. So, Gary was somehow elected to be in charge of sending flowers on behalf of his parents, sisters and himself. He’s off work this week, so he…

  • Breasts vs Toes

    Breasts vs Toes

    When the Queen Mother took Dad as her consort, I was six. We moved into his bachelor pad. When he asked I wanted to be when I grew up, I said “I want to be a Playboy Bunny,” because he obviously revered these women. They were all over the glassware. (Dad promptly learned to hide…

  • Skeleton in the Closet

    It amazes me how little Gary knows about his Dad’s family. He can report his paternal grandmother was diabetic, both grandparents were 100% German, and all Lutheran. And sadly, Gary’s Uncle Gene has died. Uncle Gene was married to Gary’s aunt Bernice, Ken’s sister. This is definite. Gary HAS an Aunt Bernice. He HAD an…