Category: The Great Hall of TMI – Must be 18 to enter!

You know the only thing scarier than being on the doctor fast track is being on the Saturday morning appointment fast track. Biopsy and ultrasound results to come. I place my money on fibroids.

(For reference: Previous posts dealing with the Crotch Rot – this, this, this, this, this, this, and most recently, this.) Allow me to stick my head between my knees and speak loudly to my vulva. “You are in menopause. I am done with this drama. No one else I know has a labial flap that…

Gary hasn’t just been sitting around since he’s been retired. He’s self-employed. He works every day at his new job, where he works with his hands. Well, hand. He puts in hours of work every day at his hand job. Research, too. Not just getting his hands dirty. I have a side job similar to…

I was helping Mom with a house purge when I was in my thirties, and I found what looked like a little light-blue doll-sized rubber beret with a tiny rolled rim. I figure it was hardware; Mom held on to every piece of useless hardware just in case she might need it later. So I…

In prepation for the MenoParty (subtitled “Dead. Aunt Flo. Dead.”) I ordered these tasteful, discreet chocolate molds shaped like birth control packs. Imagine my surprise when I opened the padded envelope and pulled out a mold that did not look at all like birth control. It took a moment to figure out what it was,…

Gary said, “does this mean you’re going to start acting MORE like a man?”

Last month Gary read an article in Maxim (he SAYS) that encourages couples to have “Naked Time.” Not sex, per se, or per whatever, just daily nudity. Maybe just a naked hug, maybe naked spoons, at times naked penetration. The focus is intimacy, not the sex. This is a great improvement over the past few…

We were in the car Sunday when Gary decided to molest me. I don’t remember why. Usually he just honks my breast, which stimulates nothing but an eye roll, but this time he opted to rub vigorously at my privates. “First,” I announced, “You are an inch away from what you are aiming at. And…

Some of you may recall my Hellish yeast infection from two years ago (see the Chronicles of the Holy Bleeding Cooter, June ’09 – January ’10). My labia minora would swell and bleed and throb painfully, and it turned out to be a Yeast Infection, damnit, when I thought I had crotch cancer and I…

I’ll be delicate while I tell you about my sortie to pick up a replacement vibrator. After the jump.