Category: In Which We Mock Ourselves

Ear-Hand coordination failed me today, but Eye-Hand coordination stepped in. I played “Maggie May” TWENTY-ONE times today according to iTunes. Sounded great while the microphone was not on. Mic on – not a single good take. Also, I need to stop listening to rock. It’s just too damn fast. You damn kids! (Shakes imaginary cane…

Okay – this is me, picking. Trying oh SO hard to rock my way into Day Tripper. I get it right, finally, but then I blow it again. Soon – clean, without distortion, keeping up with a song. And then perhaps some power chords. Listen with pity. Remember its been less than two months.

Let me begin by relating a tale Gary told me after he returned from his parent’s yesterday. It seems the garbage disposer is not disposing of garbage at the in-laws. It runs, but doesn’t chop. Gary had a banana peel he wanted to dispose of, and his mom stopped him before he put it in…

My husband has purchased a set of very sturdy pet stairs for the dogs to use when they clamber up into bed. I feebly protested that dogs shouldn’t sleep in bed with humans, but I think I lost that battle many years ago. The S_________ family treats their pets like their biological superiors. (Just to…

My nascent band, The Incestuous Pandas (and high props to Libby, who added the all-important “The”), is coming along very slowly. My band-mate Gary has not been cooperating. Friction in the band already. First, he doesn’t like the name. “The Incestuous Pandas?” he asked scornfully, as if it were not the best band name ever.…

Okay, Gary and I got each other joint Christmas presents. I got us an electric guitar to share. I was delighted when he got home, grabbed it, and promptly discovered his big fat hammy fingers are not suited for fitting between the frets. First I tuned our – well, my – guitar with a tremendous…

It’s building up to my favorite time of year. Holiday Tea time? you ask. Christmas? No, more even than those I love late December, because it’s Retrospective time of year, in which I review all the Year in Reviews. I think it should be a national holiday. (And it should be a national holiday in…

It’s been over fifteen years since Dad died, and I still have not drank though all my Inheritance Liquor. (Dave hasn’t sold his Inheritance Porn, either.) I keep trying though. I think Marcia and Libby helped with the Whiskey, Sherry, Kahlua, and Creme de Cacao. No one is drinking the Anisette. It seems Girl’s Night…

Gary and I sang the Karaoke last night from 9 till twelve. (I performed exceedingly well on “I’m Only Happy When It Rains” – it’s my new theme song.) I was getting ready for bed, and suddenly (I mean suddenly) my throat closed up. I was in the bathroom and saw my face had reddened…

We got to Pere Marquette State Park and Gary and Arzaana-fay changed out of their radio interview clothes into their trail ride clothes. I did not need to change my clothes. Yet. Our trail ride for this year was through Pere Marquette State Park. We were not with two spunky teenage girl guides, but instead…