Category: In Which We Mock Ourselves

Yesterday, I was speaking with Ed – Ed, if you’re reading this, don’t try and delete this post. I know it embarrasses you, but technically it embarrasses me more, even though we all know I cannot be embarrassed. – [Ed] (as in Editor, not as in you, Ed.) – and we were talking about music.…

I have surprised myself. In my youth, I was very modest. Any sweater I wore had to be covered by a jacket to hide the sheer boobaliciousness. Until I was in college the number of people who saw me naked could have been counted on one finger. (And that one finger, my Mom, just thought,…

So. I have a photo for the strong of heart. (As they say on Snopes, Disturbing Image Warning.) This image shows in the clearest detail an approximation of the weird lesion on my leg. It showed up a few days before the croup. Yeah, and before you ask, it’s been spreading slowly. Now, just so…

When I was in my Psychology of Teaching and Learning Class, my excellent professor Dr. Margaret Cohen (so excellent she rates full name status) gave us a test that supposedly measured divergent thinking. “Apple. Bowling. What’s the answer?” she asked the class.I answered “green,” because it’s a word both “apple” and “bowling” have in common…

I need to dust. There are evidently no dusting robots. I’m not a big fan of dusting. In fact, I dust so rarely when Mom comes by she writes the date in the dust to commemorate her visit. When I was engaged to Gary we had a huge fight and I decided to make it…

Okay. I was skimming some list of Top Movies, and it occurred to me I’ve missed a significant number of “important” movies. Of even more concern to me, I seem to have missed several funny movies. I’ve never seen any of these movies: I’ve faked it through life without having seen these movies. I know…

Of the very few things that have made me laugh during this cursed week, I list this comment made by the mysterious “boots” on Vaguely Urban’s Kleenex Post: “Q: Is that Kleenex clean? A: It’s not.” Classic. I’m been living this week through a veil of mucus and it’s made me question all my perceptions.…

Don’t read this if you are my mother, a friend of my mother, anyone I have ever met, or anyone I ever will meet. But…..

I have The Croup. Technically, the Doctor said it was parainfluenza, or the adult croup, which crops up every other year. If your child has the croup, I want to let you know what he/she is is feeling. He/she is BORED. Freaking BORED. I’m timing my coughs now like labor pains. This from WebMD: An…

I am immobile. Cough. My voice is gone, doubtless due to screaming the words to “I Will Survive” during the Divorcee Soiree. I really don’t know how I should act when sick. Should I continue on coughing my way through my plans, or should I lie in bed immobile? Mom has always taught me by…