Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

I got a toothache back in October. Felt wobbly, like it was coming out. It shifted enough to mess up my bite. Gary went to the dentist around that same time, came home and announced: “THEY HAVE A NEW MACHINE THAT SHOWS YOU WHAT TEETH ARE DEAD I HAVE TWO DEAD TEETH YOU HAVE TO…

So TeddyJ is considering how to protect everyone against the virus. They have mentioned requiring vaccination proof or a weekly nasal test. I don’t know if this is because of Biden’s new OSHA requirements or if it’s independent. Recently a judge put the OSHA requirements on hold so this all may be moot. If not,…

Start counting, because the CDC says that in February I get another Covid shot. Of course, I have to assume this one will also do no good. How would a person know if they had any immunity? You don’t know. Four shots and no safety. Still staying in. I am a little ashamed to say…

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ellen’s lower intestine, Colin Bowel. I said nothing when she spoke ill of me in the past, But now she has gone too far. She claims that it is fear of the new car that upsets her digestion. No. I upset her digestion. I run her life. Now…

I was at the neurologist, IN PERSON. Terrifying. Happily, he did not try to shake my hand like he usually does. I was calm, until he got to the part of the exam in which he touches both sides of my face to test for any facial sensory loss. I pulled back. “You’re touching my…

On Wednesday the 6th my brother called and complained about coughing, malaise. This has been his baseline for the last month, most noticeable following a medical procedure the week before. I didn’t think any more about it. Later that afternoon I noticed my left leg was tingling. It went away after I walked a few…

My brother spent a stint in the hospital recently, for a stent. He came out without a stent but a tube connecting his liver to a bile drain tube outside of his body. My job was to read his diagnostic tests off the hospital web site and report back to him the state of his…

A few weeks ago I saw a news post that said my risk of getting the virus is 485 times worse than the average person. Yikes, indeed. I quoted that number to someone last week, and I thought, that sounds like a made -up number. I need to find that study. Before I even tracked…

Last Friday while I was working I kept one eye trained on the CNN closed captioning so I could see the specifics of specifically which immunocompromised people would be able to get an additional Covid vaccine shot. At the top of the hour I shouted at Gary: “THEY STILL AREN’T SAYING ANYTHING NEW, JUST HIV,…

ABC news thinks boosters for the immune compromised are on the way! But even as I get excited from a selfish point of view, I would think getting all the young kids vaccinated before they go back to school would be the priority. The World Health Organization said “Let’s get other countries vaccinated before the…