One of my favorite travel memories is one of Gary’s least favorite memories. Gary was recovering from an emergency gallbladder surgery, worst vacation nightmare manifested. He threw me out of the hospital room, and there I was, on my own, and I wanted to go far afield.
I think I caught a bus to the BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit), went to Sausalito and back, then I caught a bus to the top of Union Square, took a cable car a block to the taxi stand and took a taxi back to the hospital.
I was elated at having mastered all the travel modes. I was Tarzan swinging vine to vine: top speed, supreme confidence. [Insert Tarzan yodel-yell.]
I wanted to re-create a little of that in Kansas City, and I came close.
Train: I did take the Amtrak to KC. Business class, Wi-Fi, downloaded a season of Taskmaster to the iPad. Hours flew by. Sadly, the train station is being rehabbed and there was a healthy hike from where the train stopped to where the station began. Plus, though I don’t have Mal de Débarquement Syndrome (which is a month of “disembarkation sickness” — I got my land legs eight hours later), I still looked so wobbly staggering under the weight of my bag that a …
… Little six-person electric tram stopped and offered me a ride for part of the way. Eventually I got to the information desk and asked the lady where the taxi stand was and she snorted, “Good luck with that.” So I downloaded the app and took my first …
… Uber ride. So easy. I’ve always worried they’d cancel, but I now know if you pay for Premium they tend not to. I’ve Ubered two more times since then, once, I swear, because I’d rather pay twenty dollars than climb the two blocks uphill after breakfast.
Then, the next day after I hopped off the streetcar I saw the e-bikes. “How hard can that be?” I thought. “You never forget how to ride a bike.”
I got the app, I loaded the card, I tried to make the e-bikes unlock and they looked blankly at me until I realized they were e-Scooters. Different service. Also, much more challenging balance requirements.
This is where my story turns sad. I was riding back from the Art Museum in my niece’s car when she said, “Look, e-Bikes.”
I said, “This is what we’re going to do. I’m going to unlock an e-Bike and ride it while you circle the block.” (And, unspoken, alert someone if I’ve collided with a tree.)
People, the tech part worked great. It unlocked, it beeped in a friendly way, but the actual mechanics of riding a bike failed. You know how you push a bike with one foot with enough force to get it moving and then position your feet on the moving pedals? Couldn’t do it. Bike was too heavy to get momentum. Plus, I could not get my non-pushing foot on the spinning pedal.
So, I sadly locked it back up again, having logged my six minutes of failure.
Gary, who just heard this tale, confessed he snuck my bike downstairs while I was gone. He’s bringing it up again to see if I truly can’t ride a bike.