People Magazine has a tale of a recent exchange between Prince William and a “cheeky” elderly resident of a care home, Dot. This makes me sad because obviously I’m going grow up to be the “cheeky” elderly resident flirting with the random prince.
Prince William: “I’ve been to your room, Dot.”
Dot: “Would you like to stay in my room?”
William: “There’s only one bed, Dot. It might be a bit cozy!”
Dot: “I don’t care.”
William: “Well in that case, Dot, I’m sure we’ll come to some arrangement.”
(later) Dot: “Will you bring your wife along on your next visit?”
William: “I might need her to protect me.”
But is Dot cheeky? I think the prince is doing all of the flirting here.
Prince William: “I’ve been to your room, Dot.” THIS MAN IS AN INDISCRIMINATE CROTCH-SNIFFING DOG BECAUSE A GENTLEMAN WOULD NOT SAY SOMETHING SO PERSONAL TO HIS ELDER.
Dot: “Would you like to stay in my room?” DOT IS BAFFLED AS TO WHY A MAN WOULD REFERENCE HER ROOM, THE ONE PERSONAL SAFE SPACE SHE HAS.
William: “There’s only one bed, Dot. It might be a bit cozy!” CROTCH-SNIFFING DOG DOUBLES DOWN ON SMARMY DOUBLE-ENTENDRES.
Dot: “I don’t care.” DOT SAYS SOMETHING VAGUE TO BE POLITE.
William: “Well in that case, Dot, I’m sure we’ll come to some arrangement.” CROTCH-SNIFFING DOG PRINCE GOES THERE. GOES RIGHT THERE.
(later) Dot: “Will you bring your wife along on your next visit?” IT HAS DAWNED ON DOT THAT THE PRINCE IS A CROTCH-SNIFFING DOG AND SHE IS PRIMLY REMINDING HIM HE IS MARRIED.
William: “I might need her to protect me.” PRINCE ADOPTS A COY INNOCENT AIR AND BATS HIS LASHES AT THE WOMAN HE IS PATENTLY SEXUALLY HARASSING.
Dot is blameless here. Blameless.