TWIL: How to fix a Toto toilet that makes excessive noise when you flush it

We have Toto toilets in both bathrooms.

I love mine: it flushes with a satisfying ka-chunk-whOOOssshhhh sound that hits me in my solar plexus.

The one in Gary’s bathroom was installed a year after mine. It was lovely at first, but in the last year his ka-chunk-whOOOssshhh sound has turned into …

ka-chunk-whOOOssshhhh …

ka-chunk …
ka-chunk …
ka-chunk …
ka-chunk … (pause)
ka-chunk.

Oh, it is tiresome, especially the penultimate pause.

It doesn’t bother Gary because he is awake when he flushes his toilet, but I am often asleep, until about the second superflous ka-chunk.

I asked the plumber about it, and he said there was not enough water in the tank. I asked YouTube about it, and YouTube said that there was debris in the filter.

Last week I waited until he went to buy birdseed and fixed his toilet. It required no tools or hardware. Follow these steps if your toilet is making that noise.

1. Add water to the tank, flush, hear annoying noise.
2. Take water out of the tank, flush, hear annoying noise.
3. Realize the water self-levels to the same spot anyway no matter how much water you think is in the tank. Add or removing water is futile.
4. Jiggle the white thing below the green thing that looks like it might be a filter.
5. Find odd bit of plastic in bottom of tank.
6. Jiggle the thing below the filter until more white plastic breaks off in your hand.
7. Jiggle every single thing in the tank.
8. Remember you haven’t done a test flush since the commencement of the jiggling.
9. Ka-chunk-whOOOssshhhh … silence.
10. Dance the dance of victory.

I really regret that I didn’t do more test flushes. Perhaps it will start again and I can be more scientific.