With all the talk about the Louvre robbery this week, I thought, and I swear I thought this, “Where does America keep its crown jewels?”
Of course I remembered, No Kings here. No tiaras for Melania. (In fact … have we ever seen her in any gaudy gargantuan jewels?)
As it turns out, we do have national jewels stored in New York and they were stolen, because of course they were, because they were as vulnerable as the Louvre jewels. No security. Windows open. Smashable glass.
Every thing came back except one piece, and it would be a charming caper but for dark notes like Eva Gabor getting pistol-whipped and the mastermind’s further murder career.