Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: March 2024

  • Google searches

    Google Analytics new app is stingy now with the most searched queries. Ah, gone are the days when this blog’s resident International Toe Porn Superstar ruled the Google searches. No more. Per the list below, instead of disappointing european toe fans, we disappoint people who believe Rudyard Kipling — Rudyard Kipling, mind you, wrote a…

  • TWIL: There are Some Fancy Quarters Out There

    Gary shoved a quarter in my face. “FEEL THIS QUARTER SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH IT” It did feel a bit thin. “It’s just old and worn,” I said. “NO IT’S NOT OLD IT’S FROM 2011 IT’S REALLY SHINY.” I flipped it over, and it looked like one of those commemorative state quarters, only I’d never heard…

  • Shirley Refuses to Be Controlled

    I have discovered that the option I have for having a wig professionally thinned or styled is not an actual option. So, it’s up to me. I decided to practice on my cheapest, puffiest wig, the infamous Shirley. She has only been out in public once, adorned with peacock feathers for the opera. This is…

  • Drama Bullets

    Trite Melodrama. I am still stuck at the first draft stage at that one point in the novel, so I had chat GPT write the bit I am missing. It came up with the same uninspired dreck I would say, and that concerns me. Best in Drama. The Oscars are coming up and I am…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 3/7

    This week the Tongue went from this: … to this. Well the eyebrow on the left got odd. I like the right side, generally, and I like that it’s loose. Why is the tongue so hard to capture? Why? Now it’s too small!

  • Things That Live On

    Google Analytics reminded me that fifteen years ago, my late friend Steve created a tiny WordPress blog just to mess with me. I, of course, had completely forgotten about it. In one way, it’s sad I forgot any funny thing Steve did, but it is nice the internet remembers. It also makes me wonder if…

  • Three Special Words, Six Different Ways

    Counting weak-ass variations such as, “I think I’m falling in love with you,” I have heard an initial “I love you” six times. One was an Obvious Lie. I would call it an attempt to get into my pants, but really this man simply wanted to get into “pants.” My own personal pants had no…

  • Speedo

    Gary recently shared a story I must have suppressed. I believe we were in our first year of marriage, perhaps even not even three months married, when Gary’s boss had a pool party. “We are going to this pool party,” Gary announced. “I cannot swim,” I said. “You don’t have to swim.” “I have no…

  • TWIL: Dimpleplasty

    This week, I noticed that an old friend seemed to have developed dimples since the last time I saw him. “Dimples don’t just show up out of nowhere.” I thought. “He did just get married. That’s a lot of photos. Maybe it was a cosmetic thing? Can a person even give themselves dimples, like with…

  • Work Week

    Last week my department called all employees into the office for a week-long event. Even the out-of-town employees had to fly to Saint Louis. My medical exemption meant I didn’t have to come in at all, but I could if I felt comfortable. I felt comfortable for one six-hour day in an auditorium, one half…