One nice thing about Dave’s death was that I got to reconnect with Dave’s last real girlfriend.
He’s “passionate,” as one of his friends said. I think I’ve hinted at David’s ugliest side. If he gets close enough to a woman, he spits on her and slaps her, and feels that isn’t abuse because he doesn’t close his fist.
The last time this happened, Dave called the police because he thought the woman had stolen his dog and car, and of course the police came and saw the marks and put David into jail for a weekend. Oddly, when the woman told me (apologetically – also odd), I immediately said, without thinking, “Well, technically I have to be on his side.”
Only, no, of course not. I’m a human, then I’m a woman, and then way down the list I’m a sister. I didn’t correct myself to her at the time, but that was the day I vowed I’d never be in the same room as Dave again.
So I got a chance to tell that woman that I regretted saying that, and that I was wrong, and that she deserved far better than him. Too late, probably, but done.
As for not speaking ill of the dead, I’ve done enough damage by not warning every girlfriend what was in store for her when he was alive.
Somehow I need to find the original ex, the least favorite girlfriend, the one who fought back, and let her know his final albeit addled thoughts were of her.
2 responses to “Good / Bad Things: Finding the Ex”
I mean, there’s “no use at all” and then there’s “that would have been better to hear earlier, but it still soothes something in there” and I’d bet on the latter.
I am not sure original fighting girlfriend would want to know that his final thoughts were of her, but maybe? As long as it wouldn’t make her feel guilty for being out of contact with him and/or not staying with him?
KC – it’s going to be a big challenge finding her. I think it’s a moot point.