MRI Appointment

My MRI was long. It was for my brain and my spine, with and without contrast, so it was just shy of an hour and a half. (Some of that time was spent in a waiting room watching Grey’s Anatomy, which seems like the worst possible thing to show in a hospital.) I expected to fall asleep, as I’d never gotten more than four hours of sleep any night that week, but I only floated off to a few mini-dreams before the banging brought me back again.

After, while I was waiting to get an extra bonus cholesterol test, someone came on the Public Announcement system and said, “ATTENTION STAFF: EP SEARCH LEVEL THREE INITIATED.”

I waited for the blood hounds or the SWAT team, but they never came. (Grey’s Anatomy would have had a whole episode out of that.)

I see from the University of Toledo that EP is Emergency Procedure, that’s pretty straightforward, but while they use a cunning color code so that patients don’t know what’s up, Missouri Baptist just comes out and says “We are searching for someone! Heads Up!” It was a level three, which I assume is on a scale of one to five, or a scale of five to one, same difference.

All I know is that they had that MRI result in my inbox by the time I got home. Unchanged in both the spine and brain, so that’s good news.

The cholesterol test is the one I’m really excited about. The results say I’m in the normal zone, not dead center, but pretty great, given that I’m only on half a dose. If you recall, the cholesterol test is baby step one toward the same vaccination status normal people have. Step 1) good cholesterol 2) fewer heart concerns 3) able to take the Evusheld with its heart side effects 4) have some protection against the Covid. And then step 5, stop worrying I was going to spread the virus like some unvaccinated person.

Good news all around: brain is safe (optic nerve is no doubt safe) and spine is safe, and, maybe someday I’ll be safe.