Limited Review of the Billy Wilder Classic: Sabrina

I was under the impression that I had seen Sabrina starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, and an oddly blonde William Holden.

I thought I had seen enough scenes piecemeal to put together the plot, and Gary thought he had as well, and evidently we had never seen a bit of this movie. I mean, what we did actually know, “Love triangle with men too old to be in a love triangle with Audrey Hepburn” still held up, but the comedy element was a surprise. Also the plodding in the second half was a surprise.

The final surprise? Audrey Hepburn had huge feet.

Gary has a nice quality in that he sees a beautiful model or actress and checks out any supplemental body part he might criticize. The more lovely the woman, the more criticism he gives her earlobes or elbows or lower teeth.

So every time Hepburn looked particularly head to toe luminous, Gary would shriek “MY GOD LOOK AT HER FEET THEY ARE BOATS GOOD LORD.”

(Car shown for scale.)

I think of her as petite – imagine being petite with giant feet. WikiFeet puts her at 10 and a half shoe size.

Only giant in proportion to how tiny she is – but yes, not International Toe Porn Superstar quality feet. Poor thing.