One thing about Gary: he doesn’t like to be told what to do. I know, no one likes to be told what to do, but Gary hates it so much he even resents road signs.
We were in the car together for the first time in months, and he encountered two road signs he felt were trying to oppress him.
The first sign that stepped outside its station and dared to tell him what to do was a “NO OUTLET‘ sign.
“I HATE THAT SIGN. NO OUTLET. STUPID SIGN TRYING TO KEEP ME OFF THAT STREET.”
“I think it’s to keep you from getting stuck — “
“NO THOSE PEOPLE DON’T WANT ANYONE TURNING AROUND IN THEIR PRECIOUS STREET.”
The next sign was worse: it didn’t just boss him, it tried to play mind games.
It was a digital sign that said our exit was going to be closed for construction starting at 9 that night.
“I DON’T READ THOSE ELECTRONIC SIGNS. WHO KNOWS IF THEY’RE EVEN RIGHT.”
I thought, “Of all signs, the electronic up-to-the minute signs would be the most accurate: no one has to come out and unscrew the sign,” but I didn’t want to be seen as defending the double-plus-ungood signage mind control plot.