For what feels like the first time in my life:
- A recall was announced.
- I checked the lot numbers to see if I am affected.
- I am affected!
Technically, I guess Gary is affected, because he’s the only one who uses the Cottonelle flushable wipes.
When I first told him how I had saved him from a pluralibacter gergoviae infection that would access his body through his rectum and then crawl through his intestines toward his stomach and there infect his heart and lungs and possibly kill him, or at least make his butt itch, he stubbornly said, “Well, I’m still using those wipes. Those wipes are hard to find.”
I then hid the wipes. Clearly the infection has reached his brain.
There was a full box of recalled packages in the basement, plus another one of a different color under the sink. I was sure I caught them all, until I saw this in the bathroom trash:
An empty package! Terrifying! Happily, I ran its lot number and it was clean. Whew.
2 responses to “Recall”
Are any wipes truly flushable, though? Has Gary not been contributing to some ghastly sewer fatberg?
Big Dot – That is what I said when he started hoarding them. He pointed to the word flushable on the package, as it that meant anything. But, the claim is ” They do not contain any plastics which may hinder their ability to biodegrade. In fact, they are made of wood-based fibers that begin to biodegrade as soon as they are flushed.”