Gary Takes a Brief Turn for the Worse

Gary woke me up at two in the morning to come in my room and complain about a sudden hip and ribcage pain that was keeping him awake.

I grabbed the iPad. I knew enough about ribcage pain to look for shingles. I typed “hip pain in shingles.”

I told him, “Hip pain is an early harbinger of shingles.”

He said, “I don’t have shingles. I’ve had shingles. I’m immune.”

“It’s contagious.”

“You are wrong. You can’t catch the shingles.”

Back to the iPad. I let him know “a person can catch chickenpox from another person who has the shingles.”

“I didn’t catch chickenpox. I’ve had chickenpox.” He sighed. “That’s how you get the shingles –“

“I could catch chickenpox from your shingles. Me. I haven’t had either. I’m only done with half the vaccination. Get your hand off my doorknob.”

“I don’t have shingles!”

“Go away. I need to find someplace else to live.”

I don’t really think he has shingles, but, wake me up at two am, will you? I can play that game. I knew that just a little dose of escalation would make him back down, because often it seems he has no opinion but for those in opposition to me.

Twenty minutes later he came back in to tell me that he had done his own research and he was dehydrated, that was all, that was causing the hip and ribcage muscle pain. So don’t worry.

God, wouldn’t it be awful if he does have shingles? I really would have to move out. Well, the chances of that are slim.