Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: March 2019

  • What Games Reveal

    When I was in high school, Mom and Dad hosted a croquet game in the backyard. I don’t remember the exact rule, but Dad was presented with the option to either a) proceed toward a wicket or b) wallop an opponent’s ball across the yard. He chose option b. The opponent, Bob (Mom’s best work-friend),…

  • Apollo 11 Part Two

    Last Friday I was really cranky because neither Gary nor I had gotten a good sleep the night before, yet while Gary spent that day sleeping I spent the day working. To cheer me up, Gary suggested I go see Apollo 11 again, but this time he went with me. I noticed a few things…

  • What Sparks Joy

    Though I’ve never read Marie Kondo’s book or seen her show, I like the term “Sparking Joy.” Here is a list of what consistently sparks joy in my life. Watching the opening credits of Last Week Tonight and hitting the pause button at just the right second to see the weekly custom title card. Saying…

  • High School

    I heard some co-workers comment that their teenager feels self-conscious all the time. Of course, everyone dismissed it with “every teenager feels that way,” but then later it occurred to me that perhaps yes, teenager, you ARE being watched all the time. 1. I distinctly remember when I was dating Virgil, a lunch lady mentioned…

  • Public Service Announcement

    This is a public service announcement. If you have an expensive drug, a high insurance deductible, a mail order specialty pharmacy, a very nice Co-pay assistance program, and a health savings account, know one thing. This is the order of billing: 1. First billed: Your husband’s HSA card, because it is on auto-pay. 2. Then…

  • Gary’s Hobbies

    I was digging around in the junk drawer and I saw some junk I did not recognize. After some research, I realized it was a wine foil splitter from back in the day when Gary was into wine, five years ago. Gary dropped wine four and a half years ago, because he follows his interests…

  • China?

    Ah, jeez. I read that now if I want to travel to Europe I have to get a visa (though I also read that maybe I don’t). I might as well get a visa, because the way Gary’s been waking me up to show me photos of temples perched on top of spiky Chinese mountains,…

  • New Dog Toy

    Last week Gary bought this dog dish, because Gary feels his parents’ dog is no longer challenged by licking treats out of a Kong. Evidently pets like to chase their food around. After it arrived I said, “You know who would love that? The raccoons.” I know that our raccoons feel their lives are too…

  • George Bernard PShaw

    What’s your opinion of George Bernard Shaw? My opinion just plummeted in half an hour last night. Here’s what happened. I thought of that line, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” I reminded myself that George Bernard Shaw said that. Then I figuratively patted myself on the head for knowing…

  • Shape-Shifters and Double Agents

    If I’m watching a movie, the second any character is revealed to be either: 1. A shape-shifter or 2. A double agent … that’s the moment I groan and check out. I am not going to invest any energy in a movie that intends to confuse me. Oh, and while I’m complaining, add all those…