Well, it is almost Pie Season. It is so hard for me to make a decent pie crust. I thought it would be easier because Gary isn’t involved any more (“NO THAT’S WRONG TOO MUCH / TOO LITTLE NO”). But, no, and I think the issue is simply how humans make pie crusts. You have to cut the butter in to the flour, coating each pea sized bit of butter in the flour, then add just the right amount of ice water to make it pliable. Then it has to rest in the fridge and that means it hardens in the fridge, and then it invariably toughens while you work it long enough to roll it into a circle.
So let’s look at the timeline. You measure the flour, you cut in the butter, you add the water, you roll it out, you put in in the pan.
Now let’s devolve it. Starting at the end of the timeline: they can give me finished crusts in the pan already, but they aren’t tender. (Also, doesn’t involve enough human suffering, which is what you need for a family gathering.) They will sell me a pre-rolled sheet, so I only do the last step of putting it in the pan, but those have very little flake.
I want them to back up to the butter-cutting stage. Here’s what I want: Pea-sized frozen butter pellets.
They could be on rolls, like sugar candy, or stored like astronaut ice cream.
Like that, only butter.
You would scrape or scoop the amount you want, then toss them with the flour. Then you would let them sit until they aren’t completely frozen, add the water, roll it out and there you go.
I think this could be a thing.
2 responses to “Make This for Me: Pie Crust Edition”
This is going to make you millions. “Not enough human suffering” – brilliant.
Allison – I suffered through two pies today. One was underworked and one was overworked. If I only had my Pie Pellets (TM).