Last winter, I was at the dentist, and they advised I needed to have a crown refitted. (It would seem I have a wobbly crown.)
I let the male dentist believe I was going to make a timely appointment, then after he left I gestured toward my abdomen and murmured to the assistant, “I course I’d like to get all this cleared up first.”
She answered my delicate hint with a conspiratorial, “Lady troubles?” and we did that thing where you escalate in seconds from ladylike hinting to loudly exchanging “HERE ARE THE CONCERNS I HAVE ABOUT MAH LABIA.” “THAT IS AMAZING MAH UTERUS EXPLODED ONCE.”
That bought me a five month extension for my old crown. Now, those five months have passed and the crown appointment is coming up in a few weeks, but I am still not done with the lady troubles: plus, I have the eternal Grand Canyon cough that spawned a bonus inflamed rib.
And it occurred to me, will I ever be fully well again in my life? I might not. I could swing between menstruation and hot flashes till I’m sixty. I might shuffle from winter flu to spring allergies to summer colds to fall bacterial potluck. (In the course of an hour this afternoon two nearby co-workers and two Canadian friends were all felled by some sudden illness. Two continents expressing the same symptoms. That makes it a pandemic.)
While I was dwelling on my health, Mom-in-my-head commanded, “Soldier on.” Mom’s been there in my head since yesterday. I was in my car listening to another record my brother sent: The Essential Pete Seeger, one of the ten albums we had in our family. Halfway through Michael Row the Boat Ashore I hit “Jordan’s River is deep and wide, hallelujah / Meet my mother on the other side, hallelujah.”
Lost it. After a few minutes of dead mom tears, I thought, well, that’s enough, and changed to another song that wasn’t about death. I was fine until I got to We Shall Overcome, began crying again, and realized the reason I was crying is because I could hear Mom singing along in my head.
So, lesson learned. Pete Seeger Trigger Warnings for me.
Mom knew how to be sick, that’s certain. It’s the new normal Abnormal, as she would say. Heaven knows I can’t delay dental appointments till I feel well enough. I’ve got this wobbly crown here.
2 responses to “So, I Guess This Is the New Normal”
Yeah, there’s comes a time that you have to admit you aren’t the same young powerhouse you once were. Years and physical insults pile up. You fix and patch what you can, and learn new ways to do what you want to do. (Maybe that’s the message from your mother.) You don’t change destinations; you find easier routes. What you can’t do is waste time mourning lost youth.
I need to keep telling myself that.
~~silk-what I have found is that I can only cater to one issue at a time, so now that I have a bladder infection I don’t notice my inflamed rib. I did adapt well when I was on vacation with menstrual-related bleeding and diarrhea, plus the peeing when I coughed. Those Silohettes undergarments are essentially a GIANT maxipad sewn into cheap underwear. Three problems, one solution.