Let us say you are on a plane that has been delayed a hour. Let’s say the delayed plane lands in Phoenix at 12;10, which happens to be the same time your connecting flight to Saint Louis takes off.
There is hope: another St Louisian talked to the gate agent earlier, and, since there are sixteen people bound for St Louis they might delay the Saint Louis connecting flight.
You believe this might be true, because you have lived a charmed life and never missed a connecting flight.
Also, it is early in the day and you have not yet experienced the Big Connecting Flight Lie.
First, you will notice that as you descend, instead of telling you the connecting gate information, they say “check online or ask the gate agent at the end of the jet way.”
People evidently grumble, because the Lie of Omission becomes a Lie of Commission. Suddenly there will be electric trams waiting for you when you deplane! Trams to whisk you to your gate because they care.
You deplane! There are no trams. You ask the gate agent and she recommends you run: your connecting flight is boarding at B6 around the corner.
I’ll spoil this one for you: the plane actually left ten minutes earlier, even before it was scheduled to leave, and “run and you might make it” means “run so you are far away from me when you round the corner and see out the terminal window that there is no plane waiting on the Tarmac at that gate.”
Fellow St Louisans meet you at the gate and say they checked online, the flight was gone early, and US Airways is full of lying liars who fear confrontation. The helpful US Airways employees who reschedule your flight for six hours later blame the lies on the evil Vegas flight staff: they are the lying liars. Phoenix staff would never lie like that.
Hours later, after you’ve spent four hours and fifty dollars around the Phoenix airport, you are going through TSA again and the sweet 76 year old lady in front of you asks the agent, “Our flight departs in twenty minutes. Do you think we can make it?”
He answers, “Maybe. If you run.”
5 responses to “Lies Airlines Tell”
There are times when I’m really glad I’m too poor to go anywhere other than by car. This is one of them!
Just because you are paying all that money you shouldn’t expert good service besides.
That is expect good service!
In other words, what happens in Vegas stays stuck in the Phoenix airport.
Becs – I’m really considering driving everywhere from now on, especially since you cant catch a cold that way.
Hattie – Of course, I imagine if they hadn’t lied to us at every turn they’d have had a rebellion.
Jammies – Yes! Very apt!