First off, if you want to be surprised by The Conjuring, don’t read this.
All I knew about the movie was that it was a classic old-school scary movie with no excessive gore. I was happy that I didn’t know anything else about it.
More after the jump (or, if you’re in a feed reader, just stop now).
You’ve seen this movie in the seventies. It was called The Exorcist. It was much better then. This movie needed some Tubular Bells.
It had the same flaw that all “Based on a true story” movies do: at some point you wonder if each scene really happened. That pulls you right out of the movie.
It had the same flaw that all scary movies have: the audience manipulation pulls you out of the movie. Every one of these tropes was used:
- From It: Scary clowns
- From Poltergeist: Snow on the television
- From the Child’s Play movies: Chucky-style creepy doll, Annabelle, which was in reality a Raggedy Anne doll. If you’ve seen the movie, check out this freaky photo.
Here was another distraction: I saw it at the AMC dine-in theater as opposed to the Wehrenberg dine-in theater. AMC has distractions like a bright light next to your headrest, and other diners in your peripheral vision. The seat was comfier but not heated, snif, please, are we animals here?
(An aside, visited the bathroom before, during, and after the movie, and I go to watch some interesting theater security hi-jinks. I suspect the dine-in theaters are prime targets for the people who don’t exit the theater but instead go see another movie for free, instead of for $12 a pop. I think if I heard someone on a walkie talkie behind say “Roger that, I’ve got her right in front of me, where do you want her?” I’d start trotting too.)
One thing you don’t want to do is go see an exorcism movie with a Catholic.
Gary: “First of all, demon can’t possess things, they possess people. This idea that a demon rode around New England in a tape recorder and a necklace is bullshit, man. And demons don’t leave if the host is reminded of a nice vacation. Demons kill people, like in The Exorcist. And I tell you WHAT, there is no goddamned way a non-priest can perform an exorcism!”
3 responses to “Thoughts on The Conjuring [SPOILERS!]”
Emma’s dad, who went to seminary, had attended an exorcism. This stalwart man refused to talk about it, only shook his head and said in effect that there’s a reason why civilians aren’t told about them and it’s not pretty.
You know why I hate Catholics? Twelve years of those nasty fish squares every damned Friday on account of the Catholics too poor to go to private school. Rich Catholics didn’t cause it so I guess they are ok and I just hate poor Catholics.
PS I don’t believe demons possess squat, nor exist for that matter.
Karma, now there’s something I can believe in.
Becs – On the internet somewhere are the notes the priest took at the St. Louis case that The Exorcist was based on. Much milder than the movie.
Zayrina – You know, I think I was in college before I made the fish / Friday connection. For 0-5, the five years I was Catholic, I don’t think we made any dietary sacrifices. Friday was fish day at school just like Monday was Giant Marathon Snackorama because Mom was getting her hair done.