6:00 – First dose of the MoviPrep bowel purging solution. Happily, I cannot imagine there is anything inside my colon to move: on Becs’ advice I have eaten very lightly the last two days, and in addition my nervous colon has been amped up by the prospect of special attention. Nothing is in there to move out since the Gatorade left at 5:00.
Oh, Pro tip:
1) You are encouraged to drink Gatorade the day of the prep.
2) You are cautioned against the red fluids.
Do not add 1) and 2) and drink the BLUE Gatorade. It will mix with any nervous watery yellow colon contents and emerge a plastic Shrek green. And it will TERRIFY you.
6:15 – Not even percolating. The prep fluid isn’t bad. There is a taste, but it is far superior to the GoLYTELY gallon of salty strawberry swill I had to take in 1995. Plus, as a co-worker pointed out, you had the shame of toting that obvious gallon jug through the Walgreens.
Pro tip: drink it cold and take the anti-nausea medicine before you get nauseated.
6:26 – I’m just now taking the dose I should have had at 6:15. I had to call the hospital pre registration number. I warned her I was prepping for my visit and might be abruptly called away.
6:45 – third dose. I’m a little afraid. 3/4th of the first liter has gone in and nothing has come out. I am a ticking time bomb of poo.
Pro tip: the MoviPrep container is marked with lines indicating the four doses. You have to drink down to the next line for each dose. It goes a lot faster if you drink it with a straw in front of the mirror.
7:11 – done with last dose of this liter. I have to mix up the liter for my midnight dose.
Pro tip: Know that if your appointment is at 6:30 am, and you have to take the second liter 6 hours before your appointment, that means you’ll be in the bathroom all night starting at midnight.
7:12 – No action. It has not physicked me at all.
7:13 – Maybe?
7:17 – Yes.
7:27 – Well, that was a satisfying ten minutes.
7:35 – I just thought “what’s for dinner?”
12:30 – It has been like having contractions, only in reverse: the time between the spasms get longer, not shorter. Of course I aimed for fluid clarity, achieved it, and then flecks of detritus began to show up. What is it? I can’t even imagine. Seeds shaken out of some diverticuli? Polyps fleeing in fear? Peculiar. Anyway, time for the midnight liter.
1:15 – So I will not get any sleep tonight. And after getting “clear” (Scientology shoutout!) I am back to a shade I call Mountain Dew.
3:24 – I feel guilty. All this flushing is keeping Gary and the dog awake. I had plans to spend the wee hours making chili, but that just seems very off-putting right now. I remember after the last colonoscopy I snarfed down a muffin and immediately regretted mucking up my colon again.
Pro tip: If you are to have a colonoscopy, be sure to do it in the 2010s when they give you Propofol, instead of the 1990s when they give you the dread Versed.
3:52 – Gary’s got the alarm set for 4:30. There’s really no point in even trying to go to sleep now. Besides, I am so close to total clarity again.
11 responses to “Live Blogging the Colonoscopy prep!”
I just at this very moment realized I have missed you terribly.
I think mom mixed hers into the Gatorade; hers was a powder. She chose some kind of blue, because she was worried that the purple Gatorade (my favorite) had red in it so still would be verboten.
Guess what I got in the mail today? A reminder that it’s time for my colonoscopy. Come on! It’s been at least five years. Leave me alone.
Hope yours went okay and that you are feeling better.
I put lemonade Crystal lite in mine, makes it much better.
ticking time bomb of poo… I think I found my new band name.
Murphy Jacobs – I would have missed you but I thought you were here!
Amy in StL – Mine was a powder too. They said I should use water, though. The taste was okay. It would have been much better if I hadn’t had to be up all night.
Becs – I was told if the polyp was pre-cancerous I needed to come back in three years, if not I get a ten-year pass. I have no family cancer history, though. I have to get my mammogram soon too. I’ve blown it off for three years.
Zayrina – that sounds smart too. I was afraid to mess woth the directions.
Marcia – Do you remember, did Katie Couric show the prep part of her colonoscopy?
I learn so much from you. The pro tips are priceless.
Tami- Remember the tips when you turn fifty.
Well, that’s the problem with sliding off the blogosphere — it’s hard to tell if someone is there or not, because it’s an absence.
Anyway, I’ve missed the adventures of The Queen and Gary, so I’ll be archive diving for a while.
The best tip I got when I had mine (more than five years ago) was to cover toilet paper with Desitin and wipe my butt good before the pooping started.
Wow, am I glad I did that; I would’ve been a rashed, raw mess had I not.
I’m glad the test went well, dear.
Murphy Jacobs – Dive away. This last year though? Pretty boring.
AnneP – YES. I was chapped. I’ll let Gary know for his prep in January.