Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: March 2012

  • I am scraping the very very bottom of the blog barrel!

    The list of google searches! Now, with answers, in case anyone else comes by and wants to know. 1. “can you get pregnant from a spunky tennis ball hitting you in the minge” Step one: have a man ejaculate on a tennis ball. Be sure the ejaculate is fresh, and then have him – Step…

  • The Four Questions

    How is this month different from all other months? I haven’t felt the full weight of Gary’s birthday month this year. The extra chores are minimal. I asked Gary and he said it used to be great because he could invoke the immediate WIn Any Argument rule, but “we don’t argue that much any more.”…

  • In Which Gary Tries to Energize Me

    Last night, we were shopping for sister-in-law Sandy’s birthday gifts, and after the three stores I begged Gary to stop, because I was wiped out. “NO WE HAVE TO GO TO THE GROCERY TO BUY PIES AND FRUIT FOR THE PARTY!” I got in the grocery and grabbed a cart so I could use Mom’s…

  • Sleep Cycle Alarm

    A few months ago NPR did a piece on wearable devices that will wake you up at the most opportune time in your sleep cycle. It notices if you are sleeping lightly and if it’s close to the time the alarm will go off, it wakes you up. Marcia said she knew of an iPhone…

  • Warm Feet, Bleeding Heart, Poopy Eye

    I truly enjoyed our Global Warming today. It was over 80 degrees here in Saint Louis. In Winter. Pear trees are all abud. Of course, soon the white buds will be particularly lovely when glazed by an early spring ice storm. I find I vote based on how other people will benefit, not so much…

  • This is What I Live For

    At work, I’ve switched from programming in a language I know well to another, more difficult language. Today I scaled a wall. In Ninja Warrior terms, I hit the buzzer with seconds to go. Metaphorically, I spent today trying to scale the Warped Wall. See the guy hanging on to the top of the wall…

  • Wedding Wear Dilemna

    The nephew’s wedding is in June, and we have heard from the bride what colors she wants the wedding party to wear. We are not in the wedding party (despite being paraded in and pelted with candies by the children – whatEVER) and I’m fine with that. She wants to make sure we don’t wear…

  • Cheese of the week – mozzarella

    Easier than cottage. Needs to be on pizza or bread. Of course now I’m making bread while Gary watches Resident Evil.

  • Chasing the Dream

    I worked at home Thursday, with my background companion, CNN. CNN is usually suitably boring, but Thursday morning they were wild about a solar storm due to hit earth. Threats of GPS outages, satellites down, and “VIVID AURORA BOREALIS AS FAR SOUTH AS SAINT LOUIS.” My head whipped up. Northern lights? Where? When? I immediately…

  • Condomnation

    It is the twenty-first century, and we have a candidate who is against contraception. He thinks it’s wrong. He voted for it, even though “it’s wrong.” “I have voted in the past for funding for [birth control] for poor women,” he added. “As I said before, I believe that the better alternative is for abstinence…