The Year In Eating
Prime 1000 “My cut was leaner than his, so I kept spearing his discarded fat and gobbling it up. Eventually he held the plate over my head and gave it to the waiter.”
Cracker Barrel “We left, and about three blocks before Mom’s house, Gary said, ‘Ow. I need to find a bathroom.’”
Food Trucks “I was expecting lines! Hubub! Rats eating scraps! Cupcakes!”
Hiro “Speaking of The Bangles, if I had not loved Hiro I could have titled this ‘Hiro Takes a Fall,’ and you would be reading a more critical post. I almost wish I hadn’t loved it so.”
Farmhaus “I LOVE GROUPER. Who knew? I only got one little scrap. I ate two spoonfuls of spoonbread and I grabbed some of the sauce with my finger before Gary could stop me.”
The Year in Nature
Earthquake “We were snuggled there when the house shifted.”
Ground hog “Someone doesn’t understand the ‘ground’ in ‘groundhog.’”
The Year In Senators
Senator Claire McCaskill “‘CLAAAAAIRE!’ I roared from down the road. When I threw my arms apart expressively, she headed right for me.”
The Year in Entertainment
BNL Cruise “What I need is a song about the summer We turned 48 and how the beast with two backs has lots of saggy fat. There. That’s a lyric. Write a song about that.”
Kentucky Derby “The Hat rounded a corner toward the shuttle bus that would take them to the Derby. A crowd of college boys applauded. A crowd of college girls squealed, ‘OOooo! Can we take your picture?’”
BNL in the Heat “Lots of water, breeze, fans in the VIP tent, and a cooling cloth. And a friend who gets dramatically faint at opportune moments.”
Historic ball game “And was it actually the second time he’d come up at bat when it was down to the final strike and WAS THERE A MAGIC RALLY SQUIRREL INVOLVED and no, there was not. Because THAT would have been RIDICULOUS.”
The Year in Health
Wilma Update: will not admit she feels better, reportedly feels exhausted after making a huge Thanksgiving dinner.
Gary Update: was feeling much better, had a setback just today, is even considering following doctor’s orders on medication.
Me Update: I am missing my weekly vaginal massage. Not choking or erupting since September.
3 responses to “2011: My Year in Review”
All in all, brava!
Sadly, I read the whole post just to find out you’re not peeing yourself anymore. You should share more.
Becs- I love to look back over a year. Really, scaring Senator M. was the high point.Hot Mom – I didn’t want to jinx it. Now, see, next week I bet I pee myself. Damn.