As we know, television characters never say goodbye on the phone. They just conclude the conversation and snap the phone shut.
I dream for a world like this.
Lately my phone conversations have been ending like this:
You: “Bye!”
Me: “Bye”
You: “See y – “
Click! I have hung UP. Because you said “‘Bye.” When both parties have said “‘Bye”, the conversation is over. I say “‘Bye” and immediately withdraw the phone from my face so I can hang UP because I said “‘BYE.”
Why are you still talking?
In that spilt second before I hang up I can hear you, but oops, too late, can’t stop my finger, muscle memory, hang up. While you are still talking, regrettably.
And it isn’t ME. It is YOU. You said goodbye, I WAS polite and said goodbye as well and now we both hang up. I probably hang up first, because I’m just that way. Slow feet, fast hands, cold heart.
But I can’t change you. I can only be responsible for my own actions. So now I will swiftly pull the phone far away from my face after my “‘Bye” so I just can’t hear your little piteous “Okay then, have a nice day” or “Good talking to you” or “I’ve always loved you” or whatever crap you tack on the the end of your conversations.
Or, I could start saying “You are dismissed,” with a little finger snap, instead of “‘Bye.”
7 responses to “Aint No Way to Say Goodbye”
I had to laugh at this. I feel the same way, maybe worse because I hate the telephone. The last thing I say is “Ok, hanging up now, bye.” CLICK!
Can’t say I didn’t warn you to shut up.
Don’t we all here hate using the phone? Isn’t that why we’re here instead of actually talking to people? Using our voices?
“No, Shmoopie, you hang up first.”
Gah.
Yeah, I hang the heck up, too. When I’m schmoopie, I don’t say, “Bye”.
~Silk – I have used the “Hanging up now bye” with my brother. Otherwise it’s “Oh just one more th -” with him. Big Dot – YES. Exactly.Becs – I do recall having that same conversation in high school.Tami – So, you just hang up in the middle of the Schmoopies?
I do. At first I’m all schmoopie, and then suddenly I turn into the woman who says, “Oh, for heaven’s sake, we’re not in high school!”, sighs, and then abruptly hangs up.
Tami – Hard to get. Who doesn’t love that?