There was a conflict this afternoon. Wilma is coming home this weekend, and I wanted to replace her frost-damaged Hibiscus (botanical name: Ciruclus Ringus Stickus Mortus) with a new happy yellow one. We were in Florissant. It would have taken me forty-five minutes to go, get one, and stick it in the existing pot.
Gary wanted to pick up his medicine at the Walgreens in Saint Charles, which I think is open till ten. Here was his plan of attack.
1) Convince me it would never take forty-five minutes, because we would also have to get a TARP to lay over the GRASS by the PATIO so no DIRT would get on his Dad’s LAWN.
This failed. He then went with his new plan, which was to repeat:
2) “The die is cast.”
and just keep doing what he wanted.
It was very effective. We’d drive past a place that sold hibiscus. “Look, we can just pull in -“
“The DIE is CAST.”
Really, I have no defense against this.
4 responses to “Caesar Garicus”
How about “You’re being a jerk, Gary.”
Retaliation may be called for, as a form of long-term behavioral modification. Do something that he hates repeatedly, refer back to the hibiscus issue, and keep cooly stating: “It’s beyond my control.”
Florrisant to St. Charles and back in Sunday afternoon traffic in 20 minutes? Do you have a helicopter?
Becs – Neh. That bounces right off him.Mare – Hey! I tried that this morning. Didn’t work but it felt good.Benchmark – my plan was reasonable. Stay in Florissant, go to a Florissant hardware store, get a hibiscus and plant it, THEN go back to Saint Chuck and to the pharmacy. As it happended I realized the hibiscus was all about me trying to help in a futile way. Instead, I fed Gary foods full of animal fats. Sigh.