A few weeks ago, I used the word “motherfucker” in a post. Gary did not think much of that.
Gary had previously expressed dismay that in the Cracker Barrel post, I spelled out the words “fuck” and “shit.” He proposed “f*ck” and “sh*t.”
“No,” I said, “I don’t think so. It’s a little too self-protective for me. If I’m cursing, I should do it, not do everything but the vowels.”
“But some of your readers are older ladies, you know. They might be offended. You can convey the same idea, it just isn’t as harsh.”
So, older ladies: sorry, but I’m not dropping the vowels for any of you who may be offended. If I have to see how vulgar and crass I am, you have to see it too. I might struggle in the future to be better, and think with less profanity, but until I genuinely improve I shouldn’t put on a show.
I haven’t mentioned Gary’s views on my profanity, because, fuck him, and because I didn’t want people to feel slighted if they would instead say, “f*ck him.” Do what you will.
However, the weekend’s events presented me with a similar decision: do I say what I feel and think, or do I say what I should feel and think?
So many people are on Twitter and in blogs pointing out that it is not good to revel in the death of another human being, even Osama Bin Laden. This is true. If I were a good person, I would feel that and I would say that. As it is, I want to agree. I see the appeal. It is in accordance with my philosophy that you must be civilized and value all life. It’s what I would like to think.
But, I don’t think that; it’s too far white on the black and white spectrum. I don’t feel that; I am tickled pink that he’s dead and if there were death photos I’d look right at them and giggle. I’d make LOL catspeak. “Ceiling Osama iz watching you with his one eye.” “I iz in your oceans, covered with shellfish.”
(In case you worry I am being too hard on myself, I will still take twenty photos of myself and pick the one in which I seem thinnest.)
13 responses to “Profane”
Who are these ‘older ladies’ Gary speaks of so caringly? If they’re in their seventies, they were probably 1960s hippie chicks who can cope with a few vowels, tell him. And anyone younger is robust enough ditto. Tch. Misplaced gallantry. Let him go to the mall and open doors for a while to purge himself.
As for Bin Laden, you don’t need to revel, just tut and shrug in an Old Testament sort of way. Bastard’s been martyred anyway (oops! Sorry, Gary! B*st*rd).
Big Dot – F*ck*ng c*cks*ck*r. And I’d like to tut and shrug or any of the appropriate responses, but I can’t.
Oh my virgin ears.
It’s the older ‘ladies’ that revel in the non-missing vowels, you know…less time left to just come right out and say it!As for Osama, I’m with Big Dot on the biblical thing – ye shall reap what ye sow and all that, y’know?
Becs – Virgin eyes, wouldn’t it be?Mare – Yes, but the Bible also has that one quote from Ezekiel that everyone’s been throwing around.I have to wonder if people said the same when Hitler died.
Thank you for not bowing to the fucking PC police about the language or Osama. I’m with you on both!
I quote Tina Fey quoting Amy Poehler in Bossypants:
“I don’t give a fuck if you like it!”
(Bossypants is awesome, by the way.)
Have Gary check out JennyJohnsonHi5 on Twitter. That woman swears like a champ!
just checking to see whether your comments section is fucked up the way mine is right now.
Nope. Yours is OK. Wonder what’s wrong.
Anyway, I was around when Hitler died,and if anyone was jumping for joy about that it escaped my attention.
I’m… nonplussed. I think that it’s fitting that someone who was responsible for the deaths of thousands of people was killed in a military action, but I can’t say that I’m actually *glad* about it.
I can appreciate and share the concern that his death could escalate violence. That said, I’m glad he’s dead. Very, very glad.And most older women are, at heart, just cussing teenagers with a whole lot of experience. Use the vowels.
Crystal – I don’t know if I’d call it bowing to PC – More that I’m not rising to PC. I’d like to be more correct in general, even politically. But, I’m not.Angie – I really need to read BossyPants. Maybe after the Derby is over.Hattie – (Thank you for cursing!) I wonder if the difference is that he committed suicide. The German papers of the time reported that he died fighting. Tami – Checking – nope, days later and it still makes me smile.Caroline – I suppose we might, but we’ve always been at risk.