Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: April 2011

  • I Speak Truth to Power

    This is not a handsome man: It’s a cold thing to say on his wedding day, but it is true. All day the media has been fawning over how the “bride is so lovely, the Prince is so handsome – ” No! No, he isn’t. Big forehead, giant nose, creepy smile. And Diana had a…

  • Bullets from the Sickbed

  • I Have Something That’s Going Around

    Low fever and all-over body aches. Last time I had this, I slept through it. That didn’t work this time. I feel like I have been pumped full of mild acid. I feel so bad that I can’t imagine other people having this and not giving it a name. Like the “The Toxic Marianade of…

  • “Oh,” The Hat said, “You want slanty?”

    The hat has a will of its own now.Perhaps I have it on backwards. It seems to be saying that to me. It wants ribbons. I need to print this off and scribble where bows and ribbons should go.

  • Friday’s Storm Damage

    Friday’s Storm Damage

    As you see, we had some devastation. If only we had surveillance video to document the moments the tornado struck. Luckily, no one was injured.

  • The Tornado Show

    Here in Saint Louis, two local channels pre-empt network coverage and use the Doppler Radar to follow the storms. This local coverage goes on for hours. I’ve been watching since 7 or so (when I heard the tornado sirens) and now it’s after nine. The lunch crowd was discussing Tuesday’s tornado show, and my work…

  • I Am Not Invincible

    A few days ago, I had energy. I suppose it’s because I had no pressing work deadlines, and because the dog knows to wake whoever’s sleeping on what used to be “my” side. I had so much energy I researched recipes and went off to buy supplies for broccoli with Parmesan, chicken with dumplings, mushroom…

  • Why I Care About the Royal Wedding.

    Lawrence O’Donnell and Jerry Seinfeld have both questioned the media’s fascination with the Royal Wedding. Lawrence O’Donnell’s complaint was that “the Crown” should be held responsible for the decisions of the politicians running the English government. First: Lawrence O’Donnell scares me. He seems always on the verge of tears or ready to shout at someone.…

  • Hat Progress, Or: I Learned Something Today

    Hat Progress, Or: I Learned Something Today

    The brim of the hat is nearly done. Not attached to the crown yet, though, but here you are. Things I learned today: 1. If you want a photo taken, take it yourself in the bathroom mirror. I tried, Gary tried, and this is the only one that gets the slanty effect. The feathers look…

  • I Find Out I’m One of Those Birther Idiots, Sort Of.

    (Note: During this post, many of you will scream that I am an idiot. Rest assured I realize this by the end. We can’t poop on ourselves every day, so I find other ways to be humiliated.) During the Margaret Davis Memorial Sorting and Boxing, I found my brother’s birth certificate. To my delight it’s…