All Over Body Pain from the Kinect. We only played the first level of Adventure games and I hurt. All I did was plug holes in the wall, jump on the river raft, and pop bubbles in space. We didn’t even open up the game in which we beat the shit out of each other.
Sliced Thumb Pain from the deadly sharp knives I got from the in-laws. They are deceptively colorful, in a clear lucite block, and they filleted my thumb so gently I didn’t feel the end of it flapping into the julienned potatoes. And THEN I mixed those potatoes with an onion sauce I made in the Silver Pan of Justice (also from the in-laws):’
I hold that pan high and I feel like a Superhero with my Pan of Virtue, Victory, and the American Way. It’s shiny, is what I’m saying to you.
Tooth Pain from all the candy, especially the All Milk Chocolate Moose Munch. The Normal Munch is scientifically balanced in 1/3rd caramel, 1/3 chocolate, 1/3 nuts. The All Milk Chocolate Munch disturbs the balance.
Emotional Pain from watching Up. I got tired of listening to you all go on and on about how it makes you cry and how wonderful it is. I tried to defend myself during the retrospective of the old man’s life with Ellie. “Credit cards!” I yelled when they kept breaking into the jar of change. “Drive to South America! Stay in a Youth Hostel! Get a job, Ellie!” But I still cried like a baby. Thanks a lot.
9 responses to “Christmas Pain”
I’ve got Up in my Netflix queue but I have yet to bring myself to watch it.
I watched Up with my boyfriend and it didn’t make me cry (It did make me sad though) but it added two things to our lives:1. Now when Oscar gets a hotspot, I threaten the cone of shame. Although, I have the inflatable collar for him so it’s really the tube of shame.2. One of us occasionally yells “Squirrel!” just to see the other one stop what they’re doing and look around excitedly.We are simple folk.
Ellie worked in the bird house at the zoo. *nods*
Hubby and I totally do the “squirrel!” thing too, hee!
Dahling, I hated *Up.* Hated it!!!
Becs – You’d be fine it you just skip past the first twenty minutes or so.Amy in StL – The cone of shame – that was a bright spot in the movie. Elisabeth – Someone at work accused me of the “squirrel” thing. Hattie – I stopped hating it after I finally placed the old man’s voice. Did you hate it because everyone assumed he couldn’t travel? Or was the bird too cutesy? Or was it too manipulative?
I cannot say why I hated it. My husband hated it too. We don’t like the same things, necessarily, but we always hate the same things. That is why we are the perfect couple.
Hattie – Gary only hates things that are obviously really, really good. I, on the other hand, like them.
Ellie had a job.
Hot Mom – I bet Ellie got fired and they just didn’t mention it.