Blender the First: Twenty-five years ago we got a Black and Decker blender for our wedding. That blender was still working twenty years later when I gave it away to someone who needed a blender. This was a mistake, because it led to …
Blender the Second: I bought a blender at Walmart, and it blended a moment, then I watched it as it consumed its own ass. The washer came askew and the blade began hacking away at the plastic base. “Fluke,” I thought. “I’ll just get another one.”
Blender the Third: Not a fluke! I had chunks of black plastic in my smoothie. This one began to nick away at the base just before Christmas. So I asked for a blender.
Blender the Fourth: Sadly, I did not specify which Walmart blender was troublesome (Osterizer), so I unwrapped the exact same blender. This one worked for almost a year before it broke, and at least it cracked instead of self-destructing from the bottom up.
Last weekend I saw a Breville Blender at Best Buy. $175. For a blender.
A deal, given that Sur La Table had it for five cents shy of $300. A. Blender.
As in, “If I gave up drinking strawberry daiquiris, I could save $300 by not buying a blender.”
However, Amazon had refurbished ones for $70. (Or ten bucks more that all my Osterizers added together. And I know, I could have just kept buying O-rings and black bases for the Bad Blender, but this was after it added “1 tsp black plastic” to several recipes.) So I got one. Merry Christmas to me.
This new blender is the sexiest thing I have in my house. On the lowest speed it turns ice into “Snow.” I pushed “Liquefy” and the noise made me run out of the room.
Obverse my new blender’s raw sexual power.
I can’t decide. What should I liquefy first? Gary votes for turkey hearts filled with fake blood. I have a turkey leg, but I’m afraid that might dent it. Give me some options.
11 responses to “New Blender”
I have a General Electric Blender/Food Processor my mom gave me 30 years ago. I’ve seen them at yard sales and can’t understand why. Mine’s still going strong. Oh, how I coveted a Cuisinart, with all its blades and special doo-dads. But as it turns out, this one is steadfast and true.
Congrats on your new one. Start easy. Start with a smoothie with frozen strawberries.
My blender never dies. It’s a really old Osterizer, like fron the 70’s or something.
I vote for boneless chicken breasts. I’m wondering if it would look like that internet image of mechanically seperated chicken.
http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?video=iphone ???
No, don’t.
I gave away a blender recently because it was more trouble than it was worth. Haven’t replaced it yet, though…
I cannot wait to have a sno-ice fruity rum drink from this blender. January?
I guess I’ve got the same blender as Hattie. An old Osterizer. My long exed husband gave it to me in 1971. I’m guessing it wasn’t made in China. Still as good as ever.
Becs – I will do that Friday night. Magpie – GOOD God that man blended an iPhone!Hattie – Well, don’t buy the next generation if it ever fails.Amy_in_StL – Oh, thank you for introducing me to mechanically separated chicken Caroline – Yep, January. Strawberry rum snow-cone
I have a magic bullet. It’s too small to use at parties, but it does work for when it’s just me. My house mate has a blender that works, I don’t even know what kind it is. She keeps it in the pantry because she can’t stand how cluttered our counters are.
I do not know how people can care about that. They’re counters! They’re for putting appliances on, aren’t they? And dish drainers? And perhaps kitschy barnyard animal sculptures?
Arlene – Old seems to be the secret. Tami – I’m sorry, I just saw the Magic Bullet in the Macy’s today. All the Magic Bullets I’d ever seen were vibrators. “Too small to use at parties … does work when it’s just me…”
Oh, god, I’d forgotten. It’s been a while since I’ve read the adult goods catalogs, I guess. Goodness, how I’ve changed, since I got my own house with some privacy!
Tami – I’m probably a little more excited about my blender than my own silver vibrator right now, if truth be told.