It looks like all the Louisville posts have been brought to you by the letter A, I don’t know why.
So, we really sprang for the top of the line in this Louisville trip. First of all, country ham notwithstanding, the hotel was tremendous. More on this later. But it was a really great hotel, in fact the best hotel in America, as evidenced by this piece of driftwood:
And, in addition to the best hotel, we sprang for the extra-special backstage pass that got us really great seats.
Spunky likes the seats.
(Spunky is trying to reach out and touch the opening act, Ingrid Michaelson, currently know mainly for the cool song playing in the Old Navy commercial. Loved her.)
The VIP package came with a chance to meet the band. Security came all got all 17 dweebs with the VIP passes, and the TOOK US OUT TO THE ALLEY.
Not shown: Tour bus or band. They were there, though.
And now, I give you a four-part series.
Part 1: in which we say The Wrong Thing to the bass player, Jim
Gary first confronted Jim, the bass player.
“Jim! You look tired!”
“Rock and Roll lifestyle,” Jim sighed. A tired sigh, the sigh of a man who now knows he looks tired.
Part II: in which we say The Wrong Thing to the keyboardist, Kevin
I spotted Kevin, who not only plays the keyboard for BNL, but also plays for Lou Reed. I had heard that morning that Lou Reed will be playing a special concert in Australia that only dogs can hear. And, oddly, there is a suspicious gap in the tour in June.
“So Kevin,” I asked, “Are you going to play with Lou Reed for the dogs in Australia next month?”
Kevin eyed me warily.”No,” he said slowly, “I’m touring.” A pause. “With B … N … L,” he spelled out, as a cloud drifted out of his ear and suspended in the sky surrounding the text “DUMBASS.”
“I have a dog,” he added, helpfully.
Part III: in which we say The Wrong Thing to the drummer, Tyler
Tyler always looks a little round to me. But in the alley he looked tight. He was wearing some type of tailored black shirt instead of the comfy clothing he wears on stage.
“Tyler! You look trim. Have you lost weight?” I blurted.
I know. It’s like I’ve never heard that myself and translated it to mean, “Because usually you’re a house.”
He replied, “No. I grew a beard.”
I said to Gary, “I should grow a beard” and missed my chance to say to Tyler, “The drums must add ten pounds.”
Then I asked Tyler if anyone was putting on any green dresses now that Steven is gone, and he answered that Kevin said “Ew” at the one green dress that’s been thrown. Gary got as far as “So how is it without Steven -” before I dragged him away.
Part IV: in which we say Nothing Of Note to the lead, Ed
I said Nothing, Gary asked if he’d gotten another plane since he’d crashed his.
“Oh yeah,” Ed said.
“Gotta get back on the horse,” Gary said approvingly.
“Yep,” said Ed, and moved on.
“Seriously, Gary, you didn’t know that?”
“Oh, of course, I knew the answer, it just seemed like a safe topic.”
Now, that was how NOT to have a BNL band encounter.
12 responses to “UPDATED: Alley: A is for Alley”
That piece of driftwood looks exactly like what nurses give bed-ridden men to pee in. Except hollow, obviously. And not wooden. And probably smaller.
Sigh.
That piece of driftwood is exactly the same shape as what nurses give bed-ridden men to pee in.
You saw Ingrid Michaelson! ENVY!
Driftwood? Urinal? Because my usual frame of reference is food, I thought the item in the display case was just a particularly attractive yam.
Big Dot – Like a urinal? And my first thought was “Peeing in the Southern hemisphere can’t be that different. Isn’t driftwood unsanitary?”
My first thought was a petrified geoduck, but now that you mention it, it would make a nice urinal.
I’m in the yam camp.
And this is why I don’t pay the big bucks for the fancy meet and greet. I always say dumb things… The last time I saw Carbon Leaf I said to Barry “the show was excellent, the best Carbon Leaf show I’ve seen in a LONG time” which sounds like “the last several shows have been CRAP!” and “yeah, you don’t think you’ve played Shine in Michigan, but I have to disagree with you, I clearly remember it…” Barry was probably quite relieved when I introduced him to my cute and much younger blonde friend and the coversation shifted away from my blather… and there was a time that I flew to Vancouver from Detroit to see Danny Michel (fine Canadian guy-with-guitar), and I basically told him he shouldn’t be too impressed with the fact I travelled so far, since I used frequent flier miles for the plane ticket, which sounds like “you’re not really worth BUYING a plane ticket to see.” I’m so smooth. I saw Ingrid in Toledo, and also loved her. Lucky for her I didn’t have the opportunity to express my love. I would have only insulted her, I’m sure.
Becs – One for the Yam CampMare – Two for the Urinal Camp (this one time, at urinal camp … )Tami – Two for the Yam campKristie – YES! That is how I am exactly. I could have asked Ed if 4 Seconds was his previously prohibited “on tour” song. Better off that I just kept quiet. It sounds like tats are the way to go.
All – for those keeping track, that was “pre-meet in alle[y]”
I haven’t ever spoken to anyone famous or revered, but I did once get very near the Queen (THE Queen) and one of her bodyguards said “Not so close, sonny”. Which is an entirely separate class of humiliation.
Please tell Spunky I approve of her polish color; since that’s the polish I’ve been sporting most of this spring. (Until I won some free stuff and then felt obligated to use it)
Aww..thanks for the link to my blog! Your experiences with the guys had me laughing myself to tears! I’m not sure if I “deserved” the opportunity to meet the band, but I am sure as hell grateful for it! Hope to meet you someday!
Big Dot – I got within 12 feet of Prince Phillip, once, but not THE Queen. You must have been young to be “Sonny.”Amy in Stl – Spunky is pleased with the expensive pedicures she’s been getting at the fancy West County place. They do last about six weeks.Jessica Schirm – are you SURE I didn’t meet you? Channing introduced me to someone there. And speaking as someone whose Mom was in hospice, you deserve it.