Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: February 2010

  • VALENTINE’S DAY ARRIVES AT LAST!

    The Stereo System, as told in a Series of Quotes by Gary. Friday “Everything’s cabled up. Some of it even works. I want credit for the cabling.” He takes two dark chocolates from the darker chocolate twin of the box he got me for Valentine’s. “Bleh! These cremes are awful!” Saturday “Listen to this, Ellen!…

  • A Series of Unfortunate Events

    Remember when I decided to change jobs because I’d been in the same job for 20 years and felt it was time for a change? Well the new job requires I pass a certification test in the first two years. I began studying, and I took the practice test for the first of 20 lessons.…

  • Bad Show

    Sullen. Sullen pouty babies. Did you SEE the US Women’s hockey team at the medal ceremony? I reminded me of when Nancy Kerrigan won the silver medal, or rather lost the gold medal to Oksana Baiul. Suddenly she was broadcast live and uncut and a little snarky. So snarky I bought it when I heard…

  • Nature Gone Wild

    Do you know why the whales at Seaworld are eating their trainers? I’ll tell you. It’s all this talk about the Snowicane. Think of the birds and dogs escaping to high land before the Christmas tsunami. The birds and dogs could run. How would a killer whale feel, trapped at Seaworld, sensing there was a…

  • Crockpot

    The Whomp-there-it-is Pork Loin was parceled out in thirds: one third was the ambitious rolled Emmenthal loin. That was a disaster, followed by the less ambitious garlic and rosemary loin, which then was remixed as the reliable Cream of Mushroom simmered pork, which was Fed to the Dog. So, this last third will be slumming…

  • I Speak Truth to Canada

    One. What Have You Done to Tom Brokaw? Look! I found a photo of Tom’s ensemble. Brown and light blue and Blue! And yellow and a matching pocket scrap. Now tonight he’s in a black jacket and grey turtleneck. I think Air Canada lost his luggage. Two. I Don’t Care if Woman Convicts Tied them…

  • My One Interaction With Other Humans Today

    I woke up when the phone rang. “This is the Vietnam Veterans Association. We wanted you to know we’ll have a truck on your street -“ “Oh, no, we have no stuff for you. We haven’t cleaned. In months. We’ve been hoarding.” Then he laughed and I went back to sleep.

  • At the End of This One Gary Winds Up Off the Hook for Valentines Day

    This all started sometime last week, when I thought I might like to visit Toronto and watch the Art of Time Ensemble / Steven Page concert. “Naaaaaahhhhhh,” I sighed, I’m good. Sure. Fine. Content. Two days ago I reached for my new CD (Art of Time Ensemble with Steven Page) and by the third song…

  • Max Money Meme

    (A preface. NOTHING was accomplished on the stereo system tonight. I even ate candy in front of him.) BNL announced part of their summer tour today, and there are about four planned stops I can comfortably drive to in a day: Tulsa, Davenport, Nashville, Louisville. And it struck me, I’ll spend $300 on a hotel…

  • It’s Valentine’s Day EVERY Day!

    Nope. Speakers still not done. He’s still working on it. I’m still eating the chocolate. Though I’m eating the chocolate sparingly, soon I’ll be composed of only fat and sweetness. It matches my fat sweet face. When I started blogging 5 years ago, I weighed 190. I’m 5’8.” Now I’m almost 250. Most of it…