Slice of Life

10:00 pm. Sitting next to Gary watching tv.

10:01. I get up and go to the bathroom.

10:04. “Ellen! Where did you go? What are you doing in there?” He didn’t hear any comforting noises, I imagine.

“I am in the BATHROOM!” In my family you didn’t talk to people in the bathroom. I have only recently succumbed to social pressure and have begun talking while in both public and private bathrooms.

“What are you doing in the bathroom? Are you coming out?”

“I AM CLIPPING MY NOSE HAIRS,” I yelled, because it was true.

“Well I’m OUT here! Waiting! With my elbows!”

We’ve discovered that the new tv led to a new furniture arrangement which led to a lack of elbow room. We find ourselves rubbing elbows and giggling. There’s a lot of elbow stimulation going on here. Get the lube.

10:05.Gary scanned through the TiVo suggestions. “Mystery Diagnosis … Iron Chef … DaVinci Code .. Young Frankenstein …”

“Coed. DaVinci Co-ed. It’s porn.”

“No! No it isn’t.”

The movie opened with a scene of a fat man in a pool with two busty bi-sexual women. Gary still claimed it might not be porn. We had to watch a few scenes until he became bored. No elbow-rubbing augmented the porn part of the evening.

10:30. We switched to Young Frankenstein, which was just gorgeous on the new tv, plus it was evidently NOT edited for time and content.

The best part comes at the end, when they rub elbows.