When I worked for Elliot, I was known for my balls. I’d been there almost twenty years and had taken to speaking quite pointedly to bosses, co-workers, and on occasion clients. Then I quit to take this job.
However, yesterday I was in a small group listening to one particular co-worker. I noticed he wasn’t listening to me when I mentioned the filename had to be BUS_DEV, and he answered with, “And see how I blah blah…”
I spoke up. “I don’t know if you heard me, but the filename must be BUS_DEV -”
I realized he wasn’t listening, so I waited until he was at the filename screen. I said, “The filename has to be BUS_DEV.”
He typed in another filename. I said, “No. Wrong. It must be BUS_DEV.”
He said, “Huh? What’s the filename?”
I sighed, “BUS. … DEV.”
He looked right at me and snipped, “Well! There’s no need to be all bitchy about it.”
I felt a stirring in my pants.
I answered, “There’d have been no need to get all bitchy if you had listened to me the first three times when I said it pleasantly.”
Oh, and then there was an awkward silence. My new balls swelled up to fill the awkward silence. I took pleasure in the warmth and weight of my new balls. I mentally stroked them and said, “Welcome back, boys.”
11 responses to “When the Estrogen Fades, the Testosterone Takes Over”
Congratulations on regrowing your pair. The only disadvantage with testosterone is all the wild-ass hair it puts on us.
How come I always get in trouble when *I* speak up? What the hell?
Among certain women I know, we refer to it as having tits rather than the whole male-centric thing. I really don’t know that it’s better, but I’ve seen enough balls in my life to know I really don’t want any.They MOVE in weird, scary ways (or at least the scrotum skin does).
Hee! Great job! It’s always good to have someone around with the equipment (regardless of title) to put bullies in their place.The best thing I’ve discovered about getting older is my decreased tolerance for taking crap and my increased willingness to stop others from dishing it out. Being old, and beyond the reach of silly games is awesome! After all, someone has to be there to set a good example for the children. 🙂
this had me cracking upyou should write a novel or at least be paid to write
Excellently done.:)
It was SW wasn’t it?Welcome back, Ellen’s balls!
Woohooo! The Boys are back in town! Please, tell them I’ve missed them terribly.
Becs – I know! And it grows overnight. And sometimes its nipple hair. Unacceptable..75 – You are not respected because of your age, so bosses think they can come after you.Sherri – I like the idea of using “tits” in leiu of “balls,” but I couldn’t pantomime stroking my heavy tits at work.Mary – I heard myself say it, and then I saw the bully turn away from my steady gaze! HAHAHAHHA! Fear Me, I am Middle Aged Woman! It really is great to be this age.Keri – I am paid to write. I write things like “Annuitization begins a series of payments from capital that has built up during the accumulation phase of an annuity.” I know. Compelling.Erin – Why aren’t you named Erinee? Then We’d have Sherri, Mary, keri, Erinee.Caroline – You know it.Hot Mom – They wiggle their scrotum at you!
Pantomiming the giant breast stroking would have probably confused a number of people in the room. However, this could be turned in your favor in certain situations, especially when you want to get to the donuts.
Sherri – We just had two hours of required sexual harrassment training. My hands are at my sides.