So, Schnozzfest has signed off, and her swan song included this sentiment:
“I mean, you know that no blogger with half a brain in his or her head is telling you the whole story, right? They can’t. And I don’t blame them. It would be the equivalent to an outburst about your impending divorce while standing in line at the company picnic. It’s unprofessional, painfully public, irresponsible, and a little embarrassing for everybody.”
She goes on to say, “I guess all of this is just my typically very long-winded way of saying that if you want to be a polite and socially considerate person online, you really just can’t say much of anything anymore. For some, this realization would be freeing. They’d recognize the futility of the situation and shrug it off, then say whatever they felt like saying, knowing that they can’t please everyone all of the time, and good for them. “
And I know a local Blogger who feels constricted about what she can and can’t say on her blog. (Yes, you. I am talking about you. Often I read your blog and I wonder if you are talking about me. But no, you aren’t. Ha! I turn the tables on you. )
So, given that I’m just as ACA as anyone, I wondered why those thoughts haven’t occurred to me. I like to please. Right now I now that I have a blog award at Chez Bonbon that I have not accepted yet, not because I’m rejecting it but because mockworthy things have happened in life, and I would like to apologize for that, because I don’t want to hurt feelings. I don’t want to hurt Gary, certainly, that’s why I run topics past him. (Don’t worry, he’s only rejected one recently, and I’m pretty sure he’ll lift the gag order on that one pretty soon.)
But other than that, I think my blog is “a little embarrassing for everybody.” And is that a bad thing? When Hester Prynne wore the scarlet A, did she secretly feel she was giving silent comfort to other young women who may feel shame for their adulteries? (I’m asking, did she? Because I’m not reading that book again. Pretend she did.) I loved reading Suburban Bliss more than I can tell you, because she goes past the embarrassment to help a hundred fellow survivors.
I think my inhibitions have been lowered by the brain damage from the MS. And of course, the age. I am that old woman who, at ten a.m. when the Jehovah’s Witnesses coo, “And how arrrreeee you,” snarls, “I’m tired and I want to go back to bed.” And because the in-laws have taught me that communication is not so that there can be a give-and-take of ideas, but so that each individual can be heard, preferably loudly and simultaneously and with mouths full of food.
So. I belch my blog at you. Excuse me. Don’t be too embarrassed.
9 responses to “A Little Embarrassing for Everybody”
I think it goes a little deeper than just embarrassment in her case (and I have a similar post sitting in my drafts folder I wrote after I reading Schnozzfest’s swan song): Sometimes you really are stifled. I have someone who’s attacked me online in the past — not on my blog but s/he does read my blog — and I feel I have to be careful, because I don’t know what this person is capable of, and I’ve already had some weird things happen. It’s hard to write when that’s in the back of your head all the time. I’d love to write about it, but the repercussions aren’t worth it.
I agree with what was said above. So that’s why I don’t blog. I’d rather just leave mean comments on other people’s blogs.What’s ACA?
I’ve been around and around this particular topic. I don’t think it has anything to do with embarrassment, at least for me. It’s all about what I’m comfortable living with people knowing.Blogging is, I think, a little like skydiving (only, we can hope, without the sudden squishy whump at the end because something went wrong). You have to be able to accept the risks that go along with the thrill, or you lower the level from which you are willing to jump — like, from the kitchen table.That is, on reflection, embarrassing.
Ditto what Kathy said. 🙂
Too bad. Well I don’t blog so I don’t have your concerns…however….I spend an inordinate amount of time reading blogs and looking at blogs…I like visuals… that I question…as much as I enjoy it I am missing out on living it. Way too much time is spent every morning sitting here.
I hope you weren’t apologizing to me for not passing that thing forward. I forgot all about it. Seriously. I love that when I come here, I don’t know what I’m going to get. Sometimes it’s melancholy, sometimes it’s whole hella funny. Always, it’s well written. Your blog is like a box of chocolates. and if I could make one of those cute little stamps that everyone’s always passing around I’d send you one of those too.
See? That fear, sometimes paranoia, is what made me ditch my old blog. I think every two years, I should switch blogs. Like living in a witness protection program. But then how could I let the, like, seven people who read my blog know?
As a repressed, contained, English-descended individual, I’m always astonished at the honesty I find in people’s blogs. It’s a constant delight to read intelligent, well-written and above all ruthlessly honest (and in your case funny too) pieces about people’s own lives and selves. It’s heartening and enlightening and I’m grateful for it, but I can understand the soul-searching that must sometimes precede this sort of post. It’s disappointingly predictable that sometimes there are unpleasant repercussions for the blogger, but fortunately the Print and be damned philosophy still lives. Good on you!
Kathy – Hm. But on the other hand, if there is a verbal attack, you have the upper hand. Everything s/he says can and will be used against him/er on your blog, after careful scathing consideration. But I see your point of view. Not everyone likes a merry war of words. .75 – Adult Child of an Alcoholic. The ultimate people-pleasers. Sherri – But then, what are the risks? It’s like talking to a stranger in the next seat on a plane. Don’t you tell them everything? Hey, we’re all strangers here.JG – Ditto what I said to Kathy. I see your point, and I will miss your blog, Schnozz.Stljoie – Oh, believe me, I’ve working on 100 blogs I follow on Bloglines. I have to move the link off the main page because I took too long to load.Candy – Today’s post is brought to you by the bitter dark chocolate filled with the jellied center.Becs – We would follow you anywhere, if you want to take the blog geographical cure.Big Dot – Okay, now that I can focus on the unpleasant repercussions (instead of ignoring them) I can see how they could be inhibiting. My only repurcussion is a troll visit every once in a while. And trolls, either they are right (I AM fat and lazy and smelly, so?) or wrong (I do so have friends and family). But I could see shutting myself down if I knew I was possibly in danger.