I was sad. I decided I would work from home today as a big treat for Gary, who is off work this week. This would put me in his radar at all times, which he seems to like so much. Naturally he was called in to work, and has been there all day and all night.
Gary isn’t sad. There was a massive hardware failure at work. He is high on disaster. He is ’70s Charlton Heston tonight, out there, saving the data.
The house is relieved it doesn’t have to support the combined weight of Gary and I, so the floorboards began relaxing and creaking ominously. I looked at the dog and realized I have no one to protect me. Thankfully, the footsteps we heard right outside the front door OH MY GOD THUGS AND HOOLIGANS RIGHT OUTSIDE turned out to be the delivery of a box of Monarch butterfly larvae.
I only got four larvae instead of five, which is unfortunate because I had planned to name them Ed, Steven, Tyler, Jim, and Kevin. However, they came with a bonus narrow-leaf milkweed plant. This is good because my fat-leafed milkweed is only barely hanging on.
The instructions promised that I needn’t fear about the larvae leaving the milkweed. I could just drop the larvae on the plant, wrap it in plastic, and leave it exposed at the top.
Three larvae huddled at the bottom.
One larvae crawled directly to the top.
… and looked like he was going to jump.
I just know Gary is going to arrive at four a.m. and scream OH MY GOD ELLEN THERE IS AN INFESTATION OF MAGGOTS IN THE KITCHEN THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF THEM I TOLD YOU TO RINSE THE PLATES BEFORE THEY GO IN THE WASHER THEY’RE EATING THAT FANCY PLANT YOU ORDERED.
I know it.
20 responses to “Night of the Larvae”
Since there are only 4, if I were you I’d name them Ryan, Brian, Adam and Joe. (I’m a big fan of BNL as well, but guster will do in a pinch…) Long time reader (well, many months at least) but first time commenter…at least I think this is my first time. You’re a brave woman to leave those big fat juicy larva hanging out in your kitchen, even if they only want to hang out on their milkweed. I’d be wrapping up the top of that thing up in plastic wrap in a heartbeat. Good luck with those babies.
Kristie (Funny! But not your first time (columbines) and your IP address has commented under a different name! AND you are wearing beige thong underwear AND drinking a diet Pepsi for breakfast! I know ALLLLL HAHAHHAHAHAHa.)What about Scooter? Besides, when I checked this morning there I can only see three. One is in hiding. I assume he’s having some type of PR crisis.
Yeah, I’d have to put them somewhere else BESIDES the kitchen….like OUTSIDE with the other BUGS.
Your comment to your first commenter freaked me out a little. Stop doing that.OK, I am behind in my reading, and you’ve probably already explained it all, but why did you buy monarch butterfly larvae?
Wow…now I remember posting before! I think I forget when and where I’ve posted comments because I often compose comments and think they’re not good enough for “the internet” to read and end up deleting. Not just here, but all over…I hope Scooter forgives me for the slight; somedays he’s my favorite of the gusters.Glad I gave you a laugh, I’ve gotten so many here I’m happy to be able to return the favor. But really, it’s never diet Pepsi for me…always the hard stuff with all the sugar! (and now I feel a little like a creepy stalker, commenting twice on the same post…)
Hi, I think you meant Kristie’s comment for me. Although it’s really more like brunch at this point.
What is WITH you and the larvae lately?(John, Paul, George, and Ringo?)
Feckless, Aimless, Graceless and Pointless.
I think you should name that one catepillar that was trying to get out Papillon. I kill me.
.75 – Aww. Harsh. No love for the ugly ducking pre-butterlies. I will make sure they snub you when thay are Monarchs.Candy – You can’t have new-born baby butterflies without larvae.Kristie – No! Don’t feel creepy. I made inappropriate comments about your supposed thong underwear.Amy in StL – Shudder. Cold caffiene that early in the day? Melissa – It’s a hobby. OH! And NO pressure naming them after the Beatles. Setting my larvae up for failure, you are.Magpie – Graceless? No! Would would name a butterfly graceless? These are Monarchs! Kings! Hmm – maybe Elvis, Michael, Sting, and …Roger.3 – I picked up the phone to tell you Gary rushed in to the room when he heard me scream with laughter. But it was late.
Is that snark? You should have called. I was up, totally psyched over Obama’s choice for VP.
3 – No! I meant that. Did you get the text at 3, or did CNN beat O to it?
No text. At all. Then again, I can’t believe they thought they could keep it under wraps when certain procedures had to be followed first – like getting the Secret Service agents dispatched to Biden’s home before it became official. Once ABC broke the Secret Service story, it was over. Oh, well… I’m very pleased with his choice! And the campaign has $50 more of my money. 🙂
3 – don’t they call you, though? I got tired of the political begging.
Dropping in from Machu Picchu purely to be pedantic and tell you that those are caterpillars you´ve got there – they only become larvae when they mutate into their beautiful gold-spotted chrysalises.They eat guinea pigs here, did you know? You can have them roasted, oven baked or fried. They also offer ´Fried pig´ on restaurant boards, which makes me wonder about the size of the frying vat.
Big Dot – Well, that’s what I would have said, be the instructions never ever call them caterpillars. I don’t know why. And that is awesome about the guinea pigs. What do they call them when chefs are experimenting with recipes, like on Iron Chef? Are they Guinea Pig Guinea Pigs?
I don´t think they´re very adventurous here with recipes. I was in a place for lunch today that had a bunch of cute little brown and white guinea pigs running around in a cutely designed cage with popholes and ladders and such and right next door a pizza oven with a dish containing a roasted specimen, claws and teeth bared like a miniature T.Rex. Pretty horrific really, nearly put me off my empañada. In the wild, guinea pigs are grey, you know. And in the cathedral in Cusco, in the painting of the Last Supper, the meat item centre stage is a cooked chinchilla. I know you like to know these things.
Big Dot – I realized last weekend that since Mom is gone, her threat that I would only eat Saint Louis’ special fried Brain Sandwich over her dead body is moot…
According to my new friend Chuck-from-St Louis, fried Brain Sandwich is a scarce item these days – curiously little demand, it seems, particularly post-BSE, so your sainted mother can rest easy in her grave (or container, rather).
Big Dot – Chuck is right. When last heard, they are still available at Cafe Manhattan, plus Ferguson’s and Back Door still serve them. My best bet is probably still Schottzie’s Famous Pizza & Grill in Maplewood. That would be a great idea for Labor Day weekend. And BSE? Schottzie’s uses pig brains.Must have braaaaainnnnnssss.