Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: August 2008

  • Freakapillars

    Well, sad news. After putting each ‘pillar in its own cup: The smallest one become disconsolate, didn’t eat, and went legs-up a few days later. The two fatties then began a very strange dance. They ate all their food, then crawled up the sides of the cups to the coffee filter tops. They took their own paths…

  • Irresistible Temptation

    Well, I hate to tell you, but my fantasy life has stalled. See, the problem is that I do have very detailed fantasy life. I could win a Best Screenplay Oscar for the careful plotting I put into my daydreams. Gary has to be disposed of, either by divorce, or if I’m feeling generous, death followed…

  • In Which I Play Catch Up with College

    I only went away to college for one semester, and I spent my free time living Puritanically, so I did not have the college blackout binge drinking experience. At least, I didn’t have it until my late 20’s. The first time I drank enough to feel the effects was a glass of Sangria at Pasta…

  • Goo Goos, Go Gos, Whatever

    I thought I was buying tickets for the Goo Goo Dolls. Turns out it was tickets for the Go Gos. I was still pleased. Upgrade? Downgrade? Your views. Has anyone seen them both?

  • Epic GNO – SO not PC, in so many ways

    First, Some Housekeeping. Erin, that is not what Gooey Butter Cake should look like. Parts of it tasted good – mainly the parts #3 ate as we drove south to #1’s (Catherine’s). The brownies I brought were well received, however, so I made up for it. Part Two: Boobs and Pubes. Boobs Let’s establish this:…

  • Motherfrassers

    The Girls Night Out was EPIC … and I’m saving it. You’ll hear about it later. Instead of raw sexuality, what I have today is Muuurrrrrrdderrrr. I had been wondering why they were two conflicting versions of instructions for the Monarch Butterfly Larvae. One said to segregate them in little 9 oz SOLO cups, one…

  • Frass

    Frass is caterpillar poop. It is also my new vulgar term. So, all the frassing larvae do is eat and poop. (I spent a half hour watching one of them build a big ball of poo on his rear and then flick it off. And you mothers out there, think of that the next time…

  • A Fitting Coincidence

    Gary is still flying off the endorphins of Disaster Recovery. Today on our walk we had this exchange: “SO. Ellen! What do you want to do this weekend?” “Well, I want to play with my Wii.” “I played with my Wii today when you weren’t here.” “That joke never gets old.” “No it doesn’t. In…

  • Night of the Larvae

    I was sad. I decided I would work from home today as a big treat for Gary, who is off work this week. This would put me in his radar at all times, which he seems to like so much. Naturally he was called in to work, and has been there all day and all night.…

  • Misc., August ’08 Version

    I now am the proud owner of a bruxism NTI-tss device. I tried it on at the dentist, and said, “Oh! Thath nah tho bad!” And then I waved goodbye to my sex life. Who walks in to Dunkin Donuts and walks out with anegg-white flatbread sandwich? That’s like Baskin-Robbins offering celery as “a healthy alternative.”…