Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: May 2008

  • Freaky Stuff in My House

    Freaky Stuff in My House

    Wee roses in bloom! “Prune us!” they scream in teeny fairy voices. “EEEee! Prune us!” “A few must die so weeee allll cann liiiiiive!” As the butterfly larvae watch from the ledge. “HAI. WE ARE IN YER HOUSE, GROSSIN OUT YER HUSBAND. NOM. NOM! NOM! … EW, I JUST ATE ONE OF MY OWN TURDS.…

  • Dinosaurs, Revealed

    Thank God for CNN never letting a story die. Dinosaur Sighting #1: Yesterday, CNN had a choice. It was Breaking News: Hydrochloric acid is seeping into Louisiana versus Breaking News: Teddy Kennedy had a stroke. They went with the stroke. Not true, of course, just a seizure. Dinosaur Sighting #2: Dave called a few hours…

  • Dinosaurs

    Okay. Last night I had a post in my head. It was about dinosaurs. You won’t be reading that post. Because I went to bed. Without writing it. And now I don’t remember a word of it. It wasn’t about dinosaurs as much as it just had several references to dinosaurs to pull it together.…

  • Secret Christian Elbow Signal

    I went out for drinks with the Formerly Heartless Cows, whom I have MISSED since half of them have been in another kennel, and had a delightful time, but it unearthed a mystery. Okay. Friend #4 says she was introduced to someone who not only considers herself a Christian, but she cups her elbows in…

  • In Which I Am Told I Need to Think or Shut Up

    A few weeks ago, I was at work but I needed to make some phone calls between nine and four. Because a number of government agencies needed to know Mom was dead. After a few days of playing with words (“dead,” “passed on,” “passed away,” “not with us, if you know what I mean,” back…

  • It’s Wee Idda Bidda Bebe Woses Time of Year

    It’s Wee Idda Bidda Bebe Woses Time of Year

    I have the sweetest rose bush out in the back. Made sweeter the year it died all the way back, and I discovered you don’t grow plants, you grow roots. It came entirely back in that one year. I always mean to prune it, and I never have the heart. It needs it, but I…

  • What I am Posting Instead of Oh, Say, Cooking Brownies

    It’s Gary’s fault; if he hadn’t bought new stamps I would have been at the grocery and picked up necessary brownie stuff. I also haven’t used the glue gun to do minor shipping repairs on >Judith’s whimsical sculpture, either. I love it – the photo doesn’t do it justice. I appear to be loosening up…

  • Seven! (7) How Many Is Seven? (sehhhvehhhn…)

    Congrats to everyone who answered Seven! It was almost eight. As I left she said, “I hope you feel better soon.” “No, really I’m fine.” “That cold can last a while.” So, I couldn’t count that as Mom-generated sympathy. So, brownies baked in the Famous Edge Brownie Pan for: BecsLaisyDaisy Autumn Because seven is the…

  • Steak

    Gary and I were at the grocery Saturday night, when I said, “I want to cook you something, like a roast or a steak.” He just screamed like a girl at the idea of the roast. (I can only imagine all fights between his parents stemmed from food: too much for the freezer, how hard…

  • Place Your Bets

    Saturday is the big Dual Mother’s Day / Birthday Party for my mother-in-law. It should last six hours. Let’s place some bets. How many times will my mother-in-law mention my mother and how sad it is that I don’t have my mother on this Mother’s Day and how terribly I must be missing my mother…